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  • Blossoming Through Grief: Exploring Dr. Lois Tonkin's "Growing Around Grief" Model Through Art & Self-Care with Free Grief Art Activity Worksheet

    Blossoming Through Grief: Exploring Dr. Lois Tonkin's "Growing Around Grief" Model Through Art & Self-Care with Free Grief Art Activity Worksheet by: Artist AKay @AKay One Love Design 10/20/2024 Grief is a tidal wave that engulfs, crashes, and retreats, leaving us to navigate its tumultuous waters. Dr. Lois Tonkin's 'Growing Around Grief' model beautifully captures this ebb and flow of emotions, illustrating the intricate dance between loss orientation and restoration orientation. As an artist who has explored this model through my own lens, I've found solace in visualizing grief as intertwined waves and blooming flowers, showcasing the complex dance of emotions that accompany the journey of healing. See below for my personal experience and artistic interpretation. Growing Around Grief: Dual Process Model This helpful metaphor for grief was developed by Dr. Lois Tonkin. The idea is that we don’t ‘get over’ grief – it doesn’t ‘go away’. Instead as times goes on, you learn to grow around your grief. Dr. Lois Tonkin's Model is "The Dual Process Model" which identifies two main processes that individuals go through when experiencing grief: 1. Loss-oriented processes: This involves dealing directly with the reality of the loss, such as facing the emotional pain, sadness, and emptiness associated with the absence of the person you've lost. This process includes activities like reminiscing about the person who has died, acknowledging the reality of the loss, and expressing emotions related to the loss. 2. Restoration-oriented processes: This involves adapting to the changes that occur as a result of the loss, such as adjusting to new roles and responsibilities, establishing new routines, and finding ways to continue forward. This process focuses on building a new sense of identity and purpose in the absence of the person you've lost. According to Dr. Tonkin, individuals move back and forth between these two processes throughout their grief journey, and the ability to balance both is essential for healthy grieving. Additionally, the model emphasizes the importance of self-care, seeking support from others, and finding meaning and purpose amidst the pain of loss. The Ebb and Flow of Grief At the heart of Dr. Tonkin's model lies the concept of moving between the loss-oriented process and the restoration-oriented process. Just like the ocean waves that ebb and flow, grief too flows through our lives in unpredictable patterns. I depicted this in my own artwork (which can be found at the bottom of this post), capturing the rhythm of grief through swirling waves that symbolize the ever-changing nature of our emotional landscape. For anyone traversing the rocky terrain of loss, it's crucial to acknowledge these waves, to ride them out with compassion and self-care. Embracing Restoration Through Blooming Flowers While grief may be synonymous with darkness, there is also light to be found among the shadows. Around the outermost edges of the above artwork, there are vibrant flowers that blend both the hues of grief and the promise of renewal. These blossoms symbolize the restoration-oriented process, highlighting the beauty that can emerge from pain and suffering. Just as flowers bloom after a long winter, our hearts too can find healing and rejuvenation after the darkest of losses. Mindfulness Based Art Therapy (MBAT) for Self-Care and Grief Healing Art has a unique way of unraveling the knots within us, of giving voice to the unspoken grief that resides in our souls. Through the act of creation, we can externalize our internal struggles, giving clarity to the chaos within. Mindfulness Based Art Therapy is a powerful tool for self-care, offering a safe space to explore our emotions and ease our pain in a supportive environment. Just to note that Mindfulness and the Arts is not only the art of creation like drawing or painting, but also the art of music, dance, writing, journaling, connection, listening, and more. The key is find an activity that we enjoy and do it with intention, grounded in the present moment, and allow our feelings to come, allow ourselves to feel them, and allow them to pass without judgment. I have included a free step by step Mindfulness Based Art Therapy exercise/activity below if you would like to use art to express Dr. Tonkin's Model of Growing Around Grief. Please make sure to do so in a safe and supportive environment as the exercise may bring up unexpected difficult feelings and emotions, we want to make sure you are in a safe place to express these emotions if/when needed. Seek Support, Find Purpose: Navigating the Grief Landscape Dr. Tonkin's model underscores the importance of seeking support from others and finding meaning amidst our grief. In the depths of loss, it can be easy to feel isolated and adrift. By reaching out to loved ones, support groups, mentors, or therapists, we open ourselves up to the healing power of human connection. Additionally, finding purpose and meaning in our pain can be a transformative experience, guiding us towards inner-peace and growth. Embracing Mindfulness and Inner Peace Mindfulness and meditation are invaluable tools in the journey of grief, allowing us to cultivate inner peace, even when it feels impossible. By grounding ourselves in the present moment, we can soften the sharp edges of our sorrow and foster a sense of equanimity. Through mindfulness practices, we learn to embrace our emotions with compassion and kindness, paving the way for healing and self-discovery. One meditative practice that can be helpful is music meditation. If you enjoy music I would encourage you to find something that uplifts your heart and spirit and sit quietly without interruption and meditate with the music, you can also try using soothing sounds like rain or waterfalls, or listening to singing bowls being played. Grief, although each persons journey with grief will look different, it is not a linear path but a labyrinth of emotions, a rollercoaster of highs and lows. By embracing Dr. Tonkin's 'Growing Around Grief' model and infusing it with the healing power of art, self-care, and mindfulness, we can navigate the complexities of loss with openness and resilience. Remember, like the waves and flowers in the artwork, there is beauty to be found in every stage of the grieving process – a beauty that blooms even in the darkest of nights. Grief and loss is one of the hardest things for us to go through, let's not hide our grief, but nurture ourselves instead, cherish our memories, allow ourselves to feel, to be heard, to grow, and blossom through the pain, for it is in embracing our broken hearts that we may find true strength and healing. Free Grief Art Activity Downloadable: See below for my personal experience and artistic interpretation. Here at AKay One Love Design we offer unique Mindfulness Based Companionship Mentoring. If you or a loved one is struggling please reach out, no one should have to go through this alone. My personal experience with this Activity: As an Artist who personally has endured significant losses and struggles with a great deal of grief, when I learned of Dr. Lois Tonkin's theory I was curious. It aligns with how I have felt for some time, that I am forever changed by the losses I have suffered, grief isn't something that there is an "end" too. But, with time, counseling, my own mindfulness journey, the pain of grief is something I have learned to ebb and flow with. My interpretation of Dr. Tonkin's model is a little different than other's however isn't all art open to interpretation. My interpretation and sketch is below of the activity I created based on this theory/model. During this activity at one point I became so upset the tears welling up and falling from my eyes made my vision blurry, yet I continued. I took several breaks to re-center myself on the breath, and mid way through put on some music which seemed to help. I didn't walk away from the activity, though at some points I wanted too. I was expecting to be emotional, but the feelings that came up and I released were a lot. Emotions I have been holding in trying to forge forward, but once I got to the flowers in the drawing I felt this calm come over me. See, my center of grief is still overpowering in my life, and it shows this interpretation, yet the blossoming flowers is me, and the calm that came when I started to draw those flowers, and tears started to fall again, felt like a breath of life saying "You are okay", "You are here", and "You are allowed to grow". It is hard for me to share this because of how personal and deep-rooted my grief and pain is. But by sharing I hope to help another person. One Love References: Grief, Loss, And Bereavement Self-Help | Psychology Tools

  • Embracing the Fall Season: My Free Self-Care Mindfulness Based Art Therapy Routine to Beat the Autumn Blues

    As the leaves change their colors and the air turns crisp, we find ourselves transitioning into the beautiful season of fall. But with October comes more than just a change in the weather; it often brings a shift in our moods. It's not uncommon to feel a bit low as the days grow shorter and the temperatures drop. However, I've found a fantastic way to combat those autumn blues: a self-care routine centered around mindfulness-based art therapy. Self-Care is a Top Priority In times of seasonal transitions, prioritizing self-care is essential. Taking care of yourself can significantly impact your mental well-being. One of the self-care routines that I have found incredibly beneficial is engaging in mindfulness-based art therapy. Mindfulness Based Art Therapy Can Help Mindfulness and the arts encompass a wide range of activities that promote relaxation and creativity. One such activity that stands out is coloring. The simple act of coloring can be meditative, allowing you to focus on the present moment and let go of any worries or stress. To encourage self-care through art during this fall season, I'm excited to share that we are offering completely free PDF fall and Halloween coloring pages. These pages are designed to help you unwind, relax, and tap into your creative side. We believe that everyone deserves to feel well, especially during the changing seasons, and we hope that these coloring pages can be a small but impactful way to support your well-being. My Free Self-Care Art Therapy Routine Here's a brief self-care routine you can try at home using our free coloring pages: Set the Mood : Find a cozy spot in your home with good lighting. Light a scented candle or play some soothing music to create a relaxing ambiance. Choose a Coloring Page : Browse through our collection of fall and Halloween-themed coloring pages and select one that resonates with you. Mindful Coloring : As you start coloring, focus on the strokes of your pencil or marker. Pay attention to the colors you choose and how they blend together. Let your mind wander freely. Take Your Time : There's no rush when it comes to coloring. Take your time, enjoy the process, and allow yourself to fully immerse in the art. Reflect and Relax : Once you've finished coloring, take a moment to reflect on your creation. Notice how you feel and allow yourself to bask in a sense of accomplishment and relaxation. Embracing the fall season doesn't have to mean throwing yourself into the autumn blues. By incorporating mindfulness-based art therapy into your self-care routine, you can navigate this seasonal transition with a renewed sense of calm and creativity. So, grab your coloring supplies and let the therapeutic power of art guide you through the beauty of fall! Let's color the season with positivity and self-care!

  • How Honesty, Mindfulness, Setting Intentions, and Defining My Self-Worth Saved My Life and Led Me to 4 Years of Recovery; A Personal Journey Celebrating 4 Years Substance Free.

    Statistics: Substance use and abuse continues to be a global concern. Based on a news release from the World Health Organization (WHO); "Over 3 million annual deaths due to alcohol and drug use and that an estimated 400 million people lived with alcohol use disorders. Of this, 209 million people lived with alcohol dependence globally" based on their report. They stated quote "substance use severely harms individual health, increasing the risk of chronic diseases, mental health conditions, and tragically resulting in millions of preventable deaths every year. It places a heavy burden on families and communities, increasing exposure to accidents, injuries, and violence," said Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, WHO Director-General "To build a healthier more equitable society, we must urgently commit to bold actions that reduce the negative health and social consequences of alcohol consumption and make treatment for substance use disorders accessible and affordable."" However there is hope, another study states "Recovery Research Institute revealed that roughly 22.3 million Americans (more than 9% of adults) are in recovery from some form of substance use disorder (SUD)" This is a topic that I am passionate about and have been for 18+ years, as I am a survivor of substance use and abuse, considered to be in remission from Severe Substance Use Disorder and Opiate Dependency, in long term Recovery, and tragically lost my beautiful husband because of the disease of addiction and inadequate care and unaffordable access to treatment. In 2018 I participated in a round table discussion with the Lt. Governor of Illinois, this experience showed me that there are so many compassionate members of our communities from all walks of life and that truly want things to change want differences to be made. However many just don't know where to start, and unfortunately even 6 years later the same issues are being discussed, better access to treatment options, affordable options, more adequate care from hospitals and doctors. Luckily it is still a talk that is ongoing. My Journey in Recovery Celebrating 4 Years on July 31st, 2024: I used to use the phrase I don't have to like you but I will love you. There are times when I may not agree with someone else or "like them" per se but I love them... What does that mean? For me it means every living being deserves and is worthy of love (lovingkindness), from me, and honestly from everyone. So I may not like them, but I will love them. What does that have to do with recovery? Well... after looking really honestly at my journey in Recovery I realized I recently have been using this as an affirmation for myself. I may not like xyz about myself at the moment but I Love Myself. I may not like the health issues I have going on, or the weight I've gained, or that my teeth have moved because of some weird calcium deficiency and swelling, but these are all superficial things. I may not like all my circumstances or my living situation; but I love my mind, my heart, my soul, my compassion. I have been in places physically, environmentally, emotionally, and spiritually much worse, I know things can and will change, with effort, but no matter what changes on the outside, what really matters is what we carry with us on the inside. I can love myself through this. So even though I may not like some of the superficial I Love Myself. I say all that to say it takes work but if you can take yourself out of the outside things and focus inward on your heart you can work towards a place of self-love, self-care, healing, and growth! This has been a recurrent theme in my Recovery. We have a choice if our insides reflect our outsides... Meaning our mind, heart, and soul are ours to choose how we feel. Outside negative influences, environments, circumstances that are out of our control, we do not have to allow our insides to match the negative outsides. We can be the light in the dark. We can choose love over hate, we can choose peace over chaos, we can choose to be mindful over negativity. It is not easy, and I say this from experience. 4 years ago, I could honestly say I hated myself I hated how I felt, hated how I looked, hated how far away I had gotten from who I truly was in my heart. 4 years ago I was suffering from Severe Substance Use Disorder and Opioid Dependency. I had been suffering from this for 13+ years on and off, mostly on. 4 years ago I sat in self-torcher over grief, over loss, over what I thought were unforgivable mistakes I had made, unthinkable terrors I had experienced, unbelievable environments and circumstances I had been through. I relived these things every waking moment of every day because not only did I not love myself but I didn't feel worthy of life on most days. But 4 years ago there was a moment of clarity, a glimpse of a glimmer of a sliver of hope that maybe I didn't have to feel this way. 4 years ago I wasn't in the worst environment I had ever been in, I wasn't starving, I wasn't homeless, I hadn't lost every material thing again, I wasn't sitting in a jail cell or prison, I had a career, I had a nice place to live that I paid for, I had a vehicle, I had all the things I told myself I needed to have for me to be happy, for me to love myself, for me to stop relapsing. There were times before this I was in much dire circumstances, evicted while in a coma for example, homeless on the south side of Chicago, starving to the point of emaciation, experiencing physical, mental, sexual, and economical abuse. Sitting in jails and prison. Suffering a terror so extreme that I had instantaneous pigmentation loss to my hair. Experiencing and suffering a loss so horrific I thought I would die and wanted to. If this, Then That: So, I thought if I could just get out of here, if I could just hold a good job, if I had my own place, If I could stop being so sad, if I could just catch a break, if I could heal, if I could move away, if I could help others, if... if... if.. the list of if's can go on for days. If this or that, then I will get and stay clean, I will stop using and stay stopped, and when I stop using and stay stopped I will love myself. But, you see, it wasn't the outside things that helped heal the inside sufferings, terror, pain. It, for me, was finally making the choice that I wanted to live. It was intentionally getting away from the pain I was inflicting on myself (the dope), getting my disease of addiction treated professionally, seeking inpatient treatment, talking with a counselor, having a doctor show me compassion, showing myself compassion. Being told I was in survival mode for all these years, that my core is not rotten, in survival I adjusted what I would accept to match how I needed to survive without being conscious of that adjustment. That my definition of myself did not have to be based off of things that happened while I was in survival mode. Shifting my Mindset: Those insights allowed a shift to happen with my mindset. That if I could look at my values, my beliefs, myself at the core. What are the things I believe in for myself, and if I had gotten away from those values how can I get back to them. That I didn't deserve to torcher myself, inflict emotional pain onto myself, sit as a shell of who I really am at my innermost level. Realize that I did in fact deserve to live. This mindset shift allowed me to begin again, to work on centering myself and the thoughts of myself on my heart and soul. I have always been an emotionally sensitive person with empathy and compassion, enjoyed helping others, enjoyed nature, flowers, the sunset and moon rise, I believe in honesty and loyalty, I value my understanding, empathy, compassion, kindness, peacefulness, non-judgmental mentalities, fairness. This is where I could build from. Defining my Self-Worth: I had to define my self-worth because I had none, and I would get frustrated when I heard the phrase "your worth it"... What am I worth exactly? I had attended a group counseling meeting and I kept hearing this being said over and over and I left that group thinking but no one said what "you are worth". So I wrote out my definition. I am worthy of... life, kindness, peace, loyalty, truth, honesty, oneness, love, beauty, fulfillment, joy, laughter, and so much more. Now I'm getting somewhere. Now I can stand on this definition of my self-worth. It is not tied up in outside things it is intertwined with meaning. Now I have a place to set boundaries from, a place to start building the love for myself. I started meditating every day, I poured affirmations onto myself. I'd be standing at the coffee maker in the mornings and make my coffee mindfully with intent. Take a moment to enjoy the process, be grateful for this experience, grateful for the taste of coffee again. When this process started 4 years ago, I would use phrases my husband (may he rest in paradise) and son had said to me over the years. One phrase that I still use often is "if you saw yourself the way I see you, you wouldn't xyz" both my husband and son had said this to me numerous times throughout my active use. When I am extremely stressed or really not liking the outside things this phrase helps bring me back to the moment. For example, I'll say "If I could see myself the way the two people who unconditionally loved me no matter what see me, I wouldn't talk negatively to myself". Give Yourself a Break: Also, in the beginning of this 4 year journey if I was feeling especially sad or craving I would give myself permission not to make a decision for 5 minuets. A craving can turn into thoughts which can cause a reaction if we feed the thought. A craving lasts 5 seconds, however if we ruminate on the craving it will turn into thoughts which turn into emotions which turn into actions. If you practice thought stopping, you can start changing the behavior. Give yourself a break, offer yourself some grace, and be kind to yourself! Ask the question what is it that I am really feeling? At this point, I am still in very early recovery on this journey and something I kept coming back to was the concept I had studied before which was there is a way to end suffering. Before this I had not associated the disease of addiction for myself to be considered suffering. But the more I studied, researched, and learned about addiction, the brain and addiction, about cravings, treatments, psychology, Zen philosophy, the brain body, and so much more. I resonated with the concept that the phenomenon of craving is suffering. Craving to change whatever it is I am feeling in this moment by the use of something, to change how I feel, to change my environment, to change myself, to feel something different by the use of something outside of myself. This understanding for me was life changing. That I suffer from the phenomenon of craving/suffering but there is a way to end suffering. And the way to end suffering, for me, is by honesty, acceptance, nonjudgement, mindful intent, and helping others. Helping to end craving and end the wishing to change how I am feeling from something outside of myself, no longer seeking gratification or validation, no longer wishing to change the things I have no control over. Accepting myself for who I am and being grateful to be alive. These things are not easy tasks. Accepting my feelings is extremely difficult because I carry terror, fear, trauma, sadness, negativity, horror, pain, and more. However, it is possible. Change and acceptance are possible, we don't forget what happened however learn to process what we went through and dig down to the root causes of our feelings. Learning how to accept the feeling for what it is, if there is something we can change, do so, if it is something you cannot change or you had/have no control over, give yourself some grace, these burdens are not all yours to carry, and it is okay to forgive yourself! My 4 Year Roller Coaster: An honest look at the last 4 years... After entering into detox on July 31st, 2020, I went through the most unforgettable and difficult detox I had ever experienced in 13 years. I was in a hospital detox for 3 day's, yet seemed like there was no relief! Even after detox for the first 11 days in treatment I continued detoxing in tremendous pain. I think back to those days often, and think it needed to be that way, I needed to remember this last time, the pain. That pain I keep even 4 years later as a reminder to never go back. Over the last 4 years I have gone through what seems like a roller coaster of different stages with this recovery journey. The first year was extremely difficult yet rewarding. After detox and inpatient rehab, being able to wake up every day without suffering sickness from withdrawal and being grateful again to be alive, felt empowering! I gave up some stressors but gained others, I experienced tremendous loss but also tremendous joy, I was back with my son every day, I was building my self-worth, starting to really find my rhythm. I meditated every day, researched and studied as much as I could, sought counseling and was recommended to group treatment. I had a doctor who showed me compassion and understanding which made all the difference. I would take things as they came, provide myself kindness and grace, journaled a lot, worked a lot on the trauma I carry, healed some big cracks in my heart just by being kind and patient with myself. The second year was harder in some ways but easier in others. I made some decisions that I wasn't ready to make, one of which was having a relationship, which I wasn't ready to do, and I ended up pregnant and placed on bed rest for 6 out of 10 months. I went through a period of regret and sadness over my decisions. The grief and trauma I carry started chipping away at my well-being. Yet I still was with my son everyday, had a life growing in my belly, had support from people who believed in me, an still was standing on the self-worth and self-love I had built! The third year was joyous and sad. I gave birth to my beautiful little one who has provided more love to all of us than I could have ever imagined, I finally took the chance on bringing my dreams to reality by starting my business, AKay One Love Design. However some things with my body changed that I wasn't expecting, my hormones were/are out of wack and I now have this beautiful little one to take care of, which is beautiful and stressful at the same time. I found my self-care going by the wayside and not being as intentional as I was with my words and actions, and I experienced some extreme health trauma and issues. This fourth year has been really rough, but I still am able to find moments that are tremendously joyous. But by no means has it been easy! The health trauma I have suffered has really gotten to me and I had allowed my insides to reflect the negative outsides. I stepped off my foundation of self-care and self-love for many months to the point of severe depression, rage, and living reactively. However I am still with my son's everyday, my little one is growing, and my adult son is blossoming into a truly amazing man. This 4th year I kept my business going and am trying really hard to get it off the ground, and went back to college! What I can say is that this 4th year has taught me how important being mindful in Recovery is. How important honest self-awareness, self-care, support, and mindful intent are in Recovery. And that even though things may feel yucky on the inside, it does not mean that I have to use/relapse. I have finally gotten far enough away from the everyday hold that dope had on me for 13+ years, and set up other more useful tools for myself, so that, for me, using is not an option. What Now? How can I find my Center Again? Over the last few months I have looked at things with complete honesty, and within realizing some hard truths about myself and my life, I am getting back to that original foundation I built in year 1. I continue to have health issues that I am coming to terms with, I am re-building my foundation, and I am practicing all the things I listed above, and all the things I talk to my clients about. I continue to study Zen Philosophy, Positive Psychology, and Dream Interpretation, and am incorporating these into my daily life again. I utilize ACT therapy, EFT, Anam, meditation, MBCT, lovingkindness, and centralize myself on calming and focusing on the present moment. The stress I've carried for almost 3 years now is showing, overwhelm turned into rage, tears turned into yelling, and sadness turned into eating unhealthy. No self-care, not allowing myself to feel personal fulfillment, still working on my business but setting expectations of myself that are to high for me to reach. Suffering from things that I can do something about like dehydration, sleep depravation, eating unwell, isolation. These are all other forms of self torcher. Unintentional yet very much real. But the good news is I can do something about it! I have shown myself how important mindful intention is, how easy it is to start letting the outside negatives overwhelm the positives in my heart, and how quickly my mindset can shift and change if I am not actively practicing being kind to myself, honesty, acceptance, non-judgment, and helping others. I am on the mend of my own heart again, but this is I believe a good thing. It is an opportunity for personal growth and a show of resilience. The Fairytale: I wanted to be able to write this saying year 1 was challenging but I grew, year 2 was even better I built a foundation I can stand on, year 3 I still meditate every day and my business is booming, and year 4 is amazing and I am on top of the world. But the truth is, just because I am substance free, and I hold hope, understanding, empathy, and compassion, life is still going to life, things that are upsetting, hurtful, and even traumatizing still happen. I have learned that even without the dope I will experience negativity, unhealthy environments, health issues, stress, frustrations, anger . But I don't have to use over it, because as things ebb they will flow again. I will also experience grand moments of joy, kindness, and love. It is up to me to either continue to grow and learn from these last 4 years focusing on mindfulness, self-care, standing on the love I have at my core, or to allow my insides to reflect the negative outsides, and stay stuck or worse relapse. Making Choices Today: As long as I have this gift of breath I choose to make choices. I choose to hold onto hope for myself and break free from what is holding me back. I have the tools, I know the way, I just have to continue to give myself the compassion and kindness I deserve, and find support. Just because I veered does not mean that I can't find my center again. I believe being aware of what we go through and how we change and grow is important. By looking back over the last 4 years I have realized a lot about myself without drugs. I learned who I really was which I had struggled to find for many many years, and I know that by practicing mindfulness, acceptance, non-judgement, compassion, kindness, loving-kindness, self-care, that I will grow and find my center again. And you can too! I started this out by talking about the phrase I don't like you but I love you. And I will love myself until I like myself again. And it is my hope that from me sharing this that anyone who has ever suffered from addiction that, even though life may not look like a fairytale, you are alive, you have choices, you no longer have to suffer from using, and there are ways to make things better to heal our hearts, minds, and souls. For those who are suffering from substance use and abuse, THERE IS A WAY TO END SUFFERING, I hope that my honesty helps you see there is a way out, no matter how bad it feels or how worthless you may feel, there is hope, I am holding onto hope for you; if no one has told you in a while you are loved and needed, and you are worthy of life without substances, with kindness, love, and so much more. And for anyone who is trying to find their self-worth and self-love there is a way. And for anyone who is struggling and feels stuck in life's negativity and living reactively there is a way to find inner peace. And for anyone who doesn't like themselves too much at this moment, I challenge you to love yourself until you like yourself. One Love Artist AKay Citations: Who Media Team (2024, June 25). Over 3 million annual deaths due to alcohol and drug use, majority among men. World Health Organization. https://www.who.int/news/item/25-06-2024-over-3-million-annual-deaths-due-to-alcohol-and-drug-use-majority-among-men   Miller, J. (2024, June 4). Addiction recovery statistics - treatment success & failure rates . AddictionHelp.com . https://www.addictionhelp.com/recovery/statistics/ WGLT | By, J. V. (2018, January 23). Lieutenant governor hears personal stories of opioid addiction . WGLT. https://www.wglt.org/news/2018-01-23/lieutenant-governor-hears-personal-stories-of-opioid-addiction

  • Unleashing Serenity: Self-Care Through Artwork and Creative Practices for Stress Reduction and Emotional Fulfillment

    In a world where stress seems to be a common denominator, self-care has emerged as a crucial topic of conversation. As individuals navigate the complexities of everyday life, finding solace and peace within oneself has become a top priority. Self-care comes in various forms, each unique in its ability to provide a sense of calm and rejuvenation. One very powerful and expressive forms of self-care is through artwork and creativity. Personally self-care through creation is one of my favorites. Exploring Self-Care Through Artwork Art has the extraordinary ability to transcend boundaries and offer a sanctuary for the mind and soul. Engaging in artistic endeavors such as painting, drawing, art therapy, digital creating, crafting, writing, journaling, vlogging, or blogging can serve as a therapeutic outlet for stress reduction and emotional healing. Through the act of creating, individuals can tap into their innermost thoughts and feelings, allowing for a deeper understanding of oneself. There is something extremely fulfilling that comes from creating something from just your own thoughts. Art as Meditation and Mindful Artwork Creating art is a meditative practice that encourages mindfulness and presence. Whether it's painting a canvas, sketching in a journal, or molding clay, the process of art-making demands a focus on the present moment, fostering a sense of mindfulness. Engaging in mindful artwork not only enhances creativity but also promotes relaxation and stress relief. The Power of Self-Expression Artwork is a form of self-expression that enables individuals to convey their emotions, thoughts, and experiences without judgment. Through vibrant colors, bold brushstrokes, or intricate designs, individuals can communicate their innermost struggles or joys in a safe and cathartic manner. This act of self-expression promotes self-awareness, self-reflection, and emotional release, leading to a greater sense of fulfillment and peace. Harnessing Creativity for Stress Reduction Artistic practices offer a unique avenue for stress reduction by channeling pent-up emotions and negative energy into a constructive outlet. Engaging in creative pursuits allows individuals to detach from the pressures of daily life and immerse themselves in a world of colors, textures, and imagination. The act of creating art serves as a form of escapism, providing a temporary reprieve from stress and anxiety. Embracing Self-Care and Artwork Self-care through artwork goes beyond mere relaxation; it is an act of self-love, kindness, and compassion. By dedicating time to engage in creative practices, individuals prioritize their mental health and well-being. Art serves as a medium through which individuals can practice lovingkindness towards themselves, fostering a sense of inner peace, joy, and fulfillment. Conclusion: Nurturing the Mind, Body, and Soul In a world fraught with stress and uncertainty, the power of self-care through artwork cannot be underestimated. Embracing creativity as a form of self-care offers a holistic approach to nurturing the mind, body, and soul. Whether through painting, crafting, writing, or any other form of artistic expression, individuals can find solace, tranquility, and emotional fulfillment. Let art be your sanctuary, your refuge, and your guiding light towards serenity and self-discovery.

  • Journey to Mindfulness - Zen Mindfulness Art Therapy Exercise

    Journey to Mindfulness - Zen Mindfulness Art Therapy Exercise Today we are going to combine the principles of Zen Philosophy with Art Therapy by offering an exercise that encourages you to express your emotions and insights through creative means. Provide you with an outline and what you will need to create a piece of Art that reflects your own personal journey towards healing, mindfulness, and well-being. As well as a step-by-step guide on how to start and questions to help you reflect on how this process of creating Art can help you cultivate clarity and balance in your life. Journey to Mindfulness a Little Background: Zen mindfulness philosophy is rooted in the concept of being fully present in the moment, without judgment or attachment. It teaches us to let go of distractions and focus on what is happening right now, allowing for a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. One way to incorporate Zen mindfulness into daily life is through Zen inspired Art Therapy. Creating art can be a meditative practice that allows us to express our thoughts and emotions in a tangible form. By immersing ourselves in the creative process, we can gain insights and clarity on our journey towards healing and living a more meaningful life. Creating art can be a meditative practice that allows us to express our thoughts and emotions in a tangible form Journey to Mindfulness isn't always rainbows and roses: It's important to note that mindfulness does not mean forgetting the past or pretending that things are not difficult in life. This is not a form of "toxic positivity". In fact, a large part of mindfulness is about processing our feelings and emotions so that we can live in the present moment more fully. By acknowledging and accepting our experiences, offering ourselves compassion and forgiveness, we can move towards healing and growth. Living a mindful life does not mean that you will be free from life's worries and saying "I'm Mindful" just isn't enough. Living a mindful life does not mean that you will be free from life's worries and saying "I'm Mindful" just isn't enough. There has to be some action behind the phrase. Mindfulness is called a practice for a reason. It is something important to practice at everyday towards grow towards being intentional, mindful about your words and actions, mindful of others, becoming more self-aware and in-turn becoming more aware of the present moment, the universe, and our place in it. Journey to Mindfulness What it DOES Mean: But it does mean that if we practice mindfulness, we will become more equip to deal with life's worries and stress. But it does mean that if we practice mindfulness, we will become more equip to deal with life's worries and stress. Mindfulness is a wonderful tool for individuals from all walks of life, whether it's for those on their recovery journey from substance use, healing from trauma, improving mental health, providing stress relief, a recovery journey from an illness, a tool for anxiety, and much more. Young, old, or in-between. With mindfulness there is no separation and no admission fee, it is for everyone because it is a personal introspection. Being self-aware, mindful of ourselves our thoughts and actions is an invaluable practice towards fostering balance and overall well-being. And mindful practices in combination with Art can feel rewarding and aid in anyone's healing journey. Whether you are new to mindfulness or have been on your mindful journey for a long time I hope you find this exercise to be helpful. Journey to Mindfulness developing an Art Therapy Practice: I am hopeful to help you on your journey towards mindfulness and well-being, by offering this guided Zen Mindful Art Exercise. This exercise was designed with the intention to provide you with the tools and support needed to explore your inner self through creative expression. Through this process, you may discover new insights, release pent-up emotions, and connect more deeply with yourself and your surroundings. Remember, mindfulness is not about achieving a certain state of mind, but rather about embracing the present moment with openness and curiosity. By incorporating Zen inspired Art into your practice, you can cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness and appreciation for the beauty of life. "Art is the way to the absolute and to the essence of human life. The aim of art is not the one-sided promotion of spirit, soul, and senses, but the opening of all human capacities – thought, feeling, will – to the life rhythm of the world; to all the richness and variety of its possibilities." - Daisaku Ikeda Journey to Mindfulness Zen Mindful Art Therapy & The Intention; Start Exercise Here: The intention for today's journey to mindfulness exercise is to express emotions and insights through Art, reflecting your own personal journey towards mindfulness and well-being. Materials Needed: - Paper or canvas - Paints, markers, colored pencils, or any other preferred art supplies - Brushes - Water cup - Towel or paper towels - Journal or Writing Paper - Your favorite cup of tea or coffee (whatever your favorite beverage) - Optional Instructions: Part 1. Begin by finding a quiet and comfortable space to work on your creative expression and gather all the supplies we’ve listed. Once you are ready to begin take a few deep breaths to center yourself and let go of any distractions, preferably for at least 1 minute. Think about your journey towards mindfulness and well-being. Consider the emotions and insights you have gained along the way. What began you on this journey. Is there anything you feel stuck on or want to build upon? Sitting quietly and allow these questions to float around in your mind for a few minutes continuing to breathe deeply, meditate on your mindful journey here. Part 2. Pay attention to any emotion's feelings, or sensations that may arise. Without judgement allow yourself to sit and meditate on these feelings for a few moments. Continuing to breathe deeply. Understand that part of mindfulness is processing through our emotions so that we may be more present in the here and now. Appreciate the emotions, feelings, or sensations that have arisen and re-center yourself with a few deep breaths, provide yourself with self-compassion as you move onto the next step. Choose your art supplies and colors that resonate with your feelings and experiences in this moment. Part 3. Start by creating a background that reflects your current state of mind. Try using the first color that pops into mind. Next use colors, shapes, and/or patterns to express your emotions. This can be anything you like stripes, circles, bold lines, swirls, trees, birds, abstract, literally anything that pops into your mind, there is not wrong or right. As you work on your art piece, focus on the process rather than the end result. Let go of any expectations and allow your creativity to flow freely. Use different techniques such as painting, drawing, or collage to add layers of meaning to your artwork. Take breaks if needed. Sip that cup of coffee. Ponder. Put on your favorite music. Anything that provides you comfort and gives you a calm atmosphere. If you do take a break, remember to center yourself before you start again and continue to breathe deeply to stay connected to the present moment. Part 4.: Once you feel satisfied with your creation, take a step back and observe it. Reflect on how it represents your journey towards mindfulness and well-being. Write down any insights or feelings that arise from the art-making process. Consider how you can apply these learnings to your daily life. For example: did you become frustrated at any point? If yes, why, what happened, and how did you work through this feeling of frustration. For example: did you not know where to start? If yes, how did you overcome this feeling and begin anyway? Remember that art is a personal and subjective form of expression. There is no right or wrong way to create, so trust in your intuition and let your inner artist guide you. Reflection Questions (Grab your Journal): - How did creating this art piece help you express your emotions and insights? Can you identify any emotions or feelings that came up? Can you identify any sensations that came up? How did you use mindfulness during this exercise? - What colors and shapes did you choose? Do you know why or understand their deeper meaning? (see reference below) - What aspects of your journey towards mindfulness and well-being did you capture in your artwork? - How can you bring the mindfulness and creativity of this exercise into other areas of your life? Journey to Mindfulness Conclusion: Thank you for taking this artistic journey with us today! We are excited to share this Zen Mindfulness inspired Art Therapy exercise with you. Feel free to adapt this exercise to suit your personal preferences and needs. We are hopeful you enjoyed the process of creating art as a form of self-expression and self-discovery, and we sincerely hope once you complete this exercise that you will share your experience with us! Journey to Mindfulness Artistic Expression Deeper Meaning Guide: After creating your Zen Mindful Art piece use this guide to see if it matches any of your feelings towards your mindfulness journey. I suggest not reading this part until you are finished the exercise so that it will not sway your creation. Color Symbolism: - Red: Often associated with strong emotions such as love, anger, and compassion. - Blue: Represents calmness, stability, and trust. - Yellow: Associated with happiness, energy, and optimism. - Green: Reflects growth, balance, harmony, and karma. - Purple: Often associated with luxury, creativity, and spirituality. - Black: Represents power, sophistication, mystery. - White: Symbolizes purity, innocence, and simplicity. - Orange: Reflects energy, warmth, wisdom, and enthusiasm. Shapes Symbolism: - Sharp angles and jagged lines: Often associated with energy, tension, and aggression. - Soft curves and circles: Reflects calmness, harmony, and comfort. - Triangles: Can symbolize balance and stability, or danger and conflict depending on orientation. - Squares and rectangles: Often associated with stability, security, and order. - Spirals: Reflects growth, transformation, and evolution. Patterns Symbolism: - Geometric patterns: Often associated with order, structure, and precision. - Floral patterns: Can symbolize beauty, femininity, and growth. - Stripes: Reflects movement, direction, and energy. - Polka dots: Often associated with playfulness, youthfulness, and happiness. - Abstract patterns: Can evoke feelings of creativity, uniqueness, and complexity. Note from the Author: I hope this message finds you well, at peace, and having a beautiful day. I want to thank you for reading and participating in this exercise. This is something that I personally have found helpful on my own creative journey towards healing. I would be overjoyed if you choose to share your experiences with me! Leave a comment or drop us an e-mail! Continue on your healing journey no matter where you are right now you are capable of finding inner peace. Sending Lovingkindness to all. AKay Donate Now: Play your part in helping one artist's mission to send lovingkindness to the world! If you enjoyed this exercise, enjoy the topics you see here, please consider donating now so that I may continue to create art that is meaningful, helpful, and brings joy to many. "When you give to others, you are ultimately giving to yourself. The act of selflessness and compassion opens your heart and brings peace to your mind." Deepak Chopra Item's from my shop that you will dig!

  • DIY View The 2024 Total Solar Eclipse with A Pinhole Projector Easy Do it Yourself! With Video.

    This years Total Solar Eclipse is underway and you may be saying "oh no I don't have glasses", but you totally want to check out this event. No worries we've got your covered with this DIY way to View the 2024 Total Solar Eclipse To make a pinhole projector, you will need the following materials: - A small cardboard box or paper tube - A piece of white paper or cardstock - Aluminum foil - Tape - Scissors - A pin, needle, or sharpened pencil Here's how to make a pinhole projector: 1. Take your cardboard box, cereal box, or paper tube and cut a small square hole in one side of it. 2. Cover the square hole with aluminum foil and secure it in place with tape. 3. Use a pin or needle to poke a small hole in the center of the aluminum foil. 4. Tape a piece of white paper or cardstock to the inside of the opposite side of the box or tube, directly across from the pinhole. 5. To use the pinhole projector, stand with your back to the sun and hold the box or tube up to your face with the pinhole facing the sun. The image of the sun will be projected onto the white paper inside the box or tube. Remember to never look directly at the sun through the pinhole projector as it can cause serious damage to your eyes. We would love love love to see your creations in the comments below! Have fun celebrating the 2024 Total Solar Eclipse. Video on how to make this Easy Do It Yourself Pinhole Viewer for the 2024 Total Solar Eclipse Happy Viewing! Celebrate the Eclipse with 10% off all products at AKay One Love Design use Cose: TotalEclipse2024 5 Fun Facts About the Moon: 1. The Moon is Earth's only natural satellite and is about 1/6th the size of Earth. 2. The Moon's gravity is only about 1/6th as strong as Earth's, which allows astronauts to easily jump higher and carry heavy loads. 3. The Moon is slowly drifting away from Earth at a rate of about 1.5 inches (3.8 cm) per year. 4. The surface of the Moon is covered in craters, mountains, valleys, and vast plains called maria, which were formed by volcanic activity. 5. The Moon has a very thin atmosphere, composed mainly of helium, neon, and hydrogen, and no liquid water on its surface. Thank you for visiting Akay One Love Design.

  • Exploring the Captivating 2024 Total Solar Eclipse and Lunar Facts with Map from NASA with Times

    Unlocking the Mysteries of the 2024 Total Solar Eclipse: History, Facts, Map, and Times The moon has captivated us for centuries, its serene beauty and mysterious presence in the night sky sparking wonder and curiosity. One of the most fascinating and awe-inspiring phenomena tied to the moon is the eclipse – a rare event where the moon passes between the Earth and the sun, casting a shadow over parts of our planet. The History of the 2024 Total Solar Eclipse The history of eclipses is a long and storied one, with ancient civilizations often viewing them as omens or signs from the gods. In some cultures, eclipses were feared as harbingers of doom, while in others they were seen as opportunities to communicate with the spirit world. The knowledge and understanding of eclipses has evolved over time, with modern science allowing us to predict, track, and study these celestial events with precision. (see The 2024 Total Eclipse Map with Times NASA's Map Below) But eclipses are not the only intriguing aspect of the moon. The moon's gravitational pull on the Earth's oceans causes the tides we see every day. This gravitational force is so powerful that it can cause the water in the oceans to bulge and create the familiar ebb and flow of the tide. The moon's influence on the tides is not only a stunning natural phenomenon, but also has practical implications for our planet – influencing navigation, marine life, and coastal erosion. Additional Facts About the Moon: Additionally, the moon itself holds a wealth of interesting facts and mysteries. It is the only natural satellite of Earth, and is thought to have formed over 4.5 billion years ago. The moon has a diameter of about one quarter of Earth's, making it relatively large compared to its planetary host. Its surface is covered in impact craters, volcanic basins, and rocky plains, giving it a rugged and desolate appearance. One of the most intriguing features of the moon is its lack of atmosphere, which means it is constantly bombarded by cosmic radiation and meteoroids. This has led to the moon's surface being pockmarked with craters and scars from countless impacts. The lack of atmosphere also means that the surface of the moon experiences extreme temperature fluctuations, with daytime temperatures reaching scorching highs and nighttime temperatures plummeting to freezing lows. We Hope You Enjoy the 2024 Eclipse! The moon is a fascinating celestial body that has played a pivotal role in shaping our history and culture. From the mystical allure of eclipses to the scientific marvel of its gravitational pull on our oceans, the moon continues to mystify and inspire us with its beauty and complexity. As we gaze up at the night sky and marvel at the silver orb that hangs above us, let us remember the profound impact that the moon has had on our planet and our understanding of the cosmos. We truly hope you enjoy this years 2024 Total Solar Eclipse! We would love love love to see what you did to celebrate in the comments below! 2024 Total Eclipse Map with Times by NASA Nasa Photo Credits: Credits Please give credit for this item to: NASA's Scientific Visualization Studio Visualizers Michala Garrison (SSAI) Ernie Wright (USRA) Scientists Michael S. Kirk (NASA/GSFC) Carolyn Ng Project manager Shannon Reed (ADNET Systems, Inc.) Technical support Laurence Schuler (ADNET Systems, Inc.) Ian Jones (ADNET Systems, Inc.) Release date This page was originally published on Wednesday, March 8, 2023.This page was last updated on Tuesday, April 2, 2024 at 12:16 AM EDT.

  • Lovingkindness a Journey of Self-Appreciation; A Shift is On its Way.

    Let's muse about a type of love that often goes uncelebrated: the profound affection we grant ourselves commonly known as Self-Care, Self-Love, Loving-kindness, and/or Self-Compassion. Loving-kindness begins within, and it is from this internal wellspring that our souls, boundless and interconnected, can practice self-appreciation, self-care, and self-love with every breath. Understanding our own value is a crucial step on this journey of self-appreciation. It involves conquering the trepidation linked to the "what ifs" and the revelations that come from introspection. Seeking inward can become a beautiful journey filled with self-compassion, understanding, oneness, self-love, understanding our hearts and souls at the core. The question may arise: "What if I discover aspects of myself I don't like?" This question is not something to fear but to welcome. What a wonderful discovery, a chance to see ourselves all pieces and rebuild our foundation. Each day is a chance to reconstruct our essence; flaws are universal, yet they don't define us. Observe any unwelcome traits without harsh judgment and allow yourself the grace to accept transitory dislikes about yourself. Utilize affirmations as tools for transformation. Affirm yourself with statements like: I am worthy of life's full spectrum - love, trust, kindness. I deserve joy, peace, and understanding. I seek fulfillment, truth, and honesty in all aspects of life. I embrace my flaws they do not define who I am but make me uniquely me. In the realm of Lovingkindness there exists no peak to high nor ledge so steep that it may reach the possibilities that flourish there. No web of imperfections nor pit of desperation may tear into the love that resides there. Lovingkindness is a place untouchable yet it is as present as the wind on a breezy day. It resides in the depths of our hearts the ebbs of our souls. All we must do is seek to tap into it. Our very essence is energy our soul connection to the stars, the universe, the bridge to the ultimate connection of self and the universe lye's within. We have choices here in this body we may choose to love and appreciate ourselves with every breath. Find the tiny moments of gratefulness in our hearts to center ourselves from the rest. Lay our heads down at night knowing our hearts intentions are pure and full of lovingkindness, joy, peace, and serenity. Even in the harshest of conditions, through the depths of dark places through the tumultuous relationships, and scary places, we have our hearts and there we may find solace if we choose, to offer appreciation to ourselves no matter what we are going through. The days may feel long and the nights may bring sadness but in our souls there is gladness as we inspire to be one, to be better, to live in lovingkindness, to live in self compassion. With this will come a shift, a mental shift, a metaphysical shift and eventually a physical shift I promise you it will come. It starts with one spark one thought, one very intentional thought, that I am love. This one thought if we cultivate it nurture it eventually we will not only believe it, it will be engrained within every fiber of our essence. I Am Love, will spark many more thoughts, I am worthy of love, I will walk in love, I choose to love not hate, I choose compassion, I deserve my own compassion and love, I am kind, I deserve kindness, I am peace, I deserve peace, I appreciate myself, I deserve appreciation... And with these thoughts will come our words, and our words will turn into our actions, and before we know it a shift has happened. We find ourselves appreciating ourselves more, we will appreciate nature more, being more mindful of our loved ones, being more mindful of ourselves, treating ourselves better, treating others better, walking in non-judgement but kindness, honesty, loyalty, truth, and lovingkindness. Finding refuge in the stars and in our hearts. Within Loves tapestry of romance lay's a forgotten thread: the significance of self-care in nurturing self-affection. To tenderly adore another begins with mastering the art of loving oneself without reservation. Many shun this reflective tenderness, mistaking it for being selfish. However, embracing self-love lays the cornerstone from which our capacity to offer genuine affection grows. With self-love as an ally, we enhance our ability to shower others with sincere care. As we continue on our journeys for connection, spirituality, and love, make a pact to foster a love that acknowledges every facet of your existence; such love becomes a never-ending source from which empathy and compassion for ourselves and others will freely flow. Conclusion: Self-appreciation goes hand in hand with loving yourself. Bringing the foundation of lovingkindness into your life can help you on your journey of understanding, self-care, and self-compassion. You are worthy, you are beautiful, and you soul is important. Once you cultivate your own self-love and stand on a foundation of lovingkindness, honesty, loyalty, joy, and inner peace, you will feel a major shift in your life. Within this transformation you will have learned the importance and significance of love, and will be able to fully and truly love and be loved. AKay If you are seeking a shift in your life we've got you! Connect with one of our Zen Therapeutic Mentors today to start your journey of transformation! We encourage you to share with us your Self-Care journey, how are you doing, what areas are you struggling with? What have you found to be helpful in transforming your mindset towards self-compassion and self-love? What do you do to practice Self-Care everyday? Let us know in the comments or send us an e-mail at info@akayonelovedesign.com. Sending lovingkindness to all.

  • The Zen Panda Finding Peace and Inspiration: AKay One Love Designs Zen Inspired Mentoring, Join Us In The Art of Healing.

    In today's fast-paced and chaotic world, finding peace and inspiration to heal can sometimes feel like an impossible task. We are constantly bombarded with stress, negativity, and distractions that can leave us feeling drained and disconnected. But what if there was a way to tap into a sense of calm and inner peace, even in the midst of chaos? AKay One Love Design's Zen Inspired Therapeutic Mentoring, The Zen Panda, offers just that. At The Zen Panda, we believe that different forms of art have the power to heal and transform. Our unique approach combines the principles of Zen, meditation, observation, awareness, and inner-seeking with the creative process, allowing individuals to find peace and inspiration through this art. The Zen Panda's Leading Mentor: Led by AKay, a seasoned artist, Zen practitioner, dream interpreter, meditation coach, and someone who is on her own journey of healing, finding refuge from suffering and inner peace. She constantly and continuously studies philosophies, Zen, and psychology, she comes with a cultured and diverse background, and is furthering her education in positive psychology. Keeping current on the best, most innovative, unique and useful practices is important to her. AKay's main purpose with The Zen Panda is to help others by listening, offering peaceful guidance, nurturing their confidence, fostering safety, providing a refuge from the chaos of life, and inspiring lovingkidness, inner-peace, and growth. The Art of Zen, What The Zen Panda Offers: Our mentoring program is designed to guide individuals on a journey of healing, awareness, self-discovery, and personal growth. Through Zen Inspired Therapeutic Mentoring, we offer a safe and supportive space for individuals to explore and connect with their inner selves, all from the comfort of your own home. The Art utilized in our Zen Transformative Therapeutic Mentoring is not "Conventional Art" as we know it. It is the Art of Zen, compassion, lovingkindness, spoken word, written word, mindfulness, journaling, meditation, body sensation therapeutic styles, healing, and more. We believe that everyone has the capacity to practice the Arts listed above, everyone deserves creativity and calmness, and those tools can be powerful for self-expression and self-discovery. During our mentoring sessions, we will guide you through various Art practices and exercises that are designed to quiet the mind, cultivate mindfulness, and tap into your inner wisdom. We will explore topics on self-compassion, anger realization, guided Zen therapeutic imagery, somatic imagery, imagery rescripting, interpretive imagery, intentional healing, breath work, focuses on self-realization, body sensations/awareness and discovery (somatic experiencing), variety of meditative practices, cultivating lovingkindness, letting go of suffering, and building a unique journey for each individual towards peace, healing, and living a more balanced and fulfilling life. We will explore different Artistic techniques allowing you to experiment and express yourself in a way that feels authentic and true to you. But Zen Inspired Mentoring is also about using art as a form of meditation, a way to connect with the present moment and cultivate a sense of peace and stillness within. For individuals that are interested conventional art will be incorporated. Through the process of turning thought into creation, you will learn to let go of expectations, judgments, and self-doubt, allowing your true essence to flow freely and authentically. Dreamlands "Shangri-la" Illumination: Additionally AKay offers Dream Interpretation, this practice is separate from your Mentoring Sessions and is open to anyone who may be interested. Have you ever had a dream so vivid it felt like you were awake, or a dream you just couldn't get out of your mind. Wondering what it was presenting to you, or find yourself saying "what did that mean!" Our subconscious mind is a powerful tool for us to tap into. For a dream interpretation you will keep a dream journal, and AKay will illuminate your dreamland, providing you with insights, giving you an in-depth, meaningful, vivid interpretation. Exploring the imagery from your Shangri-la, your emotional state of mind, feelings, sensations, and making clear any sufferings or difficulties. This journey may reveal any deep-seated ideas or issues that may be impacting your behaviors and emotions in waking life. In Addition to The Zen Panda: In addition to our mentoring sessions through The Zen Panda, AKay One Love Design also offers a wide range of products that embody lovingkindness and peace. From uniquely designed clothing to hand drawn and digital designs, Art, and accessories, each item is created with the intention to inspire, serve a need, bring peace, and uplift. Any product that is not of our own personal creation has been meticulously selected with the intention of being brought to you to provide for your needs, inspire self-care, foster peace, and strengthen tranquility. Be A Part of Something Special: Wear and share the art you dig! By wearing and sharing our art, you become a part of our mission to spread love and kindness in the world. We also encourage our guests to engage in our blogs sharing your own experiences with Zen, Self-Care, Self-Love, Art, Recovery, and/or Meditation. By sharing your journey, you not only inspire others but also deepen your own connection to the Zen process and the transformative power of the Art of Healing. What we Believe: At AKay One Love Design, our motto is Sending Lovingkindness through Art, in unification with The Zen Panda believe that everyone deserves to experience self-love, validation, compassion, peace, and inspiration in their lives. That is why we strive to make our mentoring services and products affordable and accessible to all. We want to empower individuals to tap into their own creativity and find solace in the midst of chaos. So if you are seeking peace, balance, therapeutic companionship, a less stressful life, we invite you to join us on this journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Explore our Zen Inspired Mentoring program and discover its transformative power. Together, let's do our part in creating a life filled with love, kindness, and inner peace. AKay Note: AKay One Love Design and The Zen Panda does not require you to believe in any certain religion, philosophy, set of beliefs, or follow any religious guidelines to participate in Mentoring or enjoy our Products or Services. Remember that Zen can be traced back to centuries before we ever used language to communicate, during times when song and dance was the way of communication. Before there was division of thought, cultures, religions, and so on. The practice of lovingkindness is intertwined in the foundation of each and every religion, philosophy, spiritual journey, and there should be no separation, we all are on this journey for a short time, and we all deserve inner-peace, love, kindness, and much more. We believe in inclusion of each and every living being, wherever you are on your journey, whatever you believe in, whatever you are struggling with, suffering from, or trying to heal or grow from, we accept you and honor the place in you that is the same as us, your heart. Book Now with The Zen Panda: Book your first session today, we offer 3 convenient options below, Your Zen Panda Mentor will foster an individualized plan and journey of healing towards inner-peace together. And there is no pressure to continue to book if the fit is not what you were looking for. One Love Items we thought you might like as you begin your journey: © AKay One Love Design

  • What is Love: Loves Tapestry Vol. 4 Embracing Love: Confronting the Fear Within

    Embracing Love Confronting the Fear Within Introduction: Love, though a universally cherished emotion, can also evoke an array of complex emotions within us. Among these emotions, confronting the fear within us, of love and loving ourselves stands as a significant barrier in our pursuit of feeling happiness, lovingkindness, and fulfillment. This blog entry digs into the human experience of fear surrounding love and the importance of overcoming it to lead a more authentic and joyful life. "Not until the Fear of Change is less than the Fear of Staying the Same, can we truly be ready to begin!" Embracing Love: Understanding the Fear of Love: Love, with its vulnerability and unpredictability, can be intimidating. Our fear of love often stems from past experiences, heartbreaks, having a poor perception of ourselves, or the fear of rejection. We build walls, shield ourselves from emotional connections, stand on the sidelines and allow fear to dictate our actions. In doing so, we inadvertently deny ourselves the opportunity to experience the profound beauty and growth that love and self-love offers. Embracing Love: The Fear of Loving Ourselves: In addition to fearing love from others, we often struggle with the fear of loving ourselves. Society's unrealistic standards, past trauma, poor perceptions of ourselves, and our own self-doubt can create a relentless cycle of negative self-talk. We become our harshest critics, constantly questioning our worthiness of love and acceptance. This fear can prevent us from nurturing a healthy self-image and embracing self-love, leading to a diminished sense of self and an inability to form meaningful connections with others. Embracing Love: Consequences of Fear: The fear of love and self-love can have profound consequences on our well-being. It hinders our ability to trust, stifles our emotional growth, and restricts us from experiencing the full spectrum of human connection. We may find ourselves trapped in toxic relationships, unable to express our true emotions, or settling for less than we deserve. Ultimately, the fear of love limits our potential for personal and relational fulfillment. Embracing Love: 8 Steps to Embrace Love and Overcome Fear: Confronting and conquering the fear of love requires courage and self-reflection. Here are a few steps to help you on this journey: 1. Acknowledge and accept your fears: Recognize that fear is a natural response, but don't let it control your actions or choices. Embrace vulnerability as a gateway to personal growth and genuine connections. This is easier said than done. If we can identify what the fear is based in, then we have a place to start. For example, if we have a fear of rejection, where is this based from, were we rejected as children, did our first relationship end badly. Find the facts, does being rejected as a child mean that you are unlovable? No! Is our first relationship have to be the basis for all love? No! Use a journal, and when you feel fear coming on write it down, break it down, and find the facts. This will give you a place to start from. 2. Cultivate self-compassion: Challenge negative self-talk and replace it with kindness and self-acceptance. Treat yourself with the same love and care you would offer a dear friend. When we find ourselves in a constant negative self-talk cycle it is important to do what is called thought stopping. When we think for example, I am worthless. Pause for a moment, realize that this is a negative thing to think/say to ourselves. Whatever the task is at hand that has sparked this thought of worthlessness break it down. Figure out the facts. Ask yourself questions. Am I actually worthless? No! Talk to yourself kindly. For example, "I spilled my cup of coffee but that does not mean I am worthless or cannot do anything right", "I do lots of things right", "I am smart", "It was a silly mistake, and actually kind of funny", "Mistakes do not mean I am worthless or unlovable", "I am love and I am lovable" Positive Affirmations: "I am worthy of life" "I am loving" "I am kind" "I deserve joy" "I deserve love" "I am beautiful inside and out" "My flaws make me uniquely who I am" 3. Prioritize self-care: Engage in activities that promote self-discovery, self-expression, and self-love. This may include journaling, meditation, practicing mindfulness, soaking in a bath, going out into nature, going hiking or snowboarding, practicing music, listening to music, doing a form of Art, make a painting, drawing, or doodle, or engaging in hobbies that are fulfilling for you. Take extra time to pick out your clothes in the morning, brush your teeth, post a few affirmations on you mirror to remind yourself "I am worthy of Life", get dressed mindfully and calmly, give yourself a few extra moments before you start your day to sit in a calm mind. Centering yourself at the beginning, middle, and end of each day can be done in 5 minuets and can be done while we are completing other tasks with mindful intention. If you are in a fearful place of taking time 5 minuets for yourself, lets break down WHY. Why do we feel like we don't deserve 5 minuets of calm through out our day. If we can figure out where this fear is based, we can start moving forward. 4. Seek support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or a therapist who can help you navigate your fears and provide guidance. Share your feelings and fears openly, allowing others to offer their perspective and support. This can be so difficult especially if we have a tendency to isolate, or have been isolated since Covid happened. Start small, start by telling yourself you deserve to have supportive people in your life. Connect online: Sometimes connecting to a support group online where you can first just read or listen to others can not only be helpful but inspiring. Find support within things you have learned that you enjoy. For example if you've learned you enjoy Art, join an art group (free online mind you!), if you enjoy coffee start visiting different coffee shops in your neighborhood make it a routine become friends with the barista. Search for video's online of motivations to overcome fear, motivational speakers, seeking support. You may be surprised and find someone you really enjoy listening to. Support can come in many different forms, and will not look the same for everyone. But as humans, human connection and support is part of our physiology we need it to not only grow but survive. 5. Challenge limiting beliefs: Examine the beliefs and narratives you hold about love and yourself. Are they based on past experiences or societal expectations? Challenge these beliefs and replace them with empowering thoughts that promote self-love and openness to love from others. Again we ant to break this down and examine where these beliefs stem from. Grab your journal to write it out, laptop and type it out, or make a video to speak it out. Ask yourself what are my true Core Beliefs, where do these come from, how/when did I become fearful of love, what is my belief on love and self-love. For example: If you find you have a Core Belief that love is used for manipulation because when you were a child that is what you were taught or saw. You challenge this belief and replace it with an empowering thought. "When I was a child my mother used her love and affection towards me to get information or something she wanted", "Because of this I have a belief that love equals manipulation", so I am going to challenge this, and say something like "Just because my mother uses love as manipulation that does not mean I have to", "I believe love is something pure and good intentioned that can be freely given without anything in return", and then add your empowering thought "I am loving and I am able to love without manipulation!" Once you've broken it down it feels so much less scary. Armed with understanding, we can overcome this fear. 6. Practice vulnerability: Take small steps towards vulnerability by allowing yourself to be seen and heard authentically. Share your true thoughts and emotions with others, gradually building trust in yourself and in others' ability to love and accept you. The first step here is to be vulnerable with yourself. To be vulnerable is to be honest. If you can start figuring out what your true thoughts and emotions are through journaling, or Zen practice, meditation, mentoring, or counseling then you will be a step closer to accepting yourself for who you are. Then you may be able to start being vulnerable with others. Pick someone who is safe, or a support group setting, to start sharing your true thoughts and feelings. When we receive positive feedback after doing something like this, it feels really good, and it starts to lessen our fears about showing love. 7. Learn from past experiences: Reflect on past relationships or instances where fear may have hindered your ability to love or be loved. Take the lessons learned and use them as stepping stones towards personal growth and resilience. Taking an honest look at ourselves and where our fear may have held us back is a good way to dig deeper inward to our core to figure ourselves out. Sometimes we play a part in these hinderances in our ability to love, not even realizing our fear of commitment, or fear of intimacy is what was holding us back. Be mindful that if you ever experienced any type of trauma associated with love, that has caused a fear for you that professional counseling or mentoring may be what you need to help you move past these very justified and real fears. Also remember that if you were traumatized, the trauma was in no way your fault, and is not a reflection of you! Also remember you are a beautiful loving creation a piece of Artwork. You are deserving and kind, you are as important as every blade of grass in this world combined! You are a perfectly imperfect creation, a flower blooming in the dark that is ready to come into light and shine their love. 8. Cultivate gratitude and positivity: Focus on the positive aspects of love and the potential it holds for growth and happiness. Practice gratitude for the love you have experienced and the love that awaits you in the future. This is one of the easier tasks on this list. Make a gratitude list while your brushing your teeth in the morning, or brewing your favorite cup of coffee. 5 things you are grateful for! For example 1. the hot coffee you are brewing, 2. the sunshine, 3. having toothpaste for your morning toothbrush, 4. hearing the birds sing, 5. that you woke up today. The list does not have to be extravagant or material. In fact it tends to set in the heart better when it is not gratitude for our material things but for our feelings and things maybe we didn't have a one point that we have now. Not our cars or expensive items, but things that really bring a smile to your beautiful soul. The positivity can be grown by listening to positive and inspirational videos or TicToks or whatever you like or are willing to try. Positivity can start to grow when you go out and be mindful to smile, say hello to the cashier at the grocery store, engage in a small encounter by holding the door for someone. Meditation can also help grow your positivity, think of things that make you smile, things you enjoy, sit in that joy when meditation, envision love as energy flowing to and from you, breath in love breath out fear. Embracing Love: Conclusion: The fear of love and loving ourselves is a common human experience, rooted in past experiences, possible traumas, our environments, our self talk, and societal expectations. However, by acknowledging and confronting this fear, inward seeking, we can break free from its limitations and embrace the transformative power of love. If you work towards growing the love you have for yourself and have a foundation of unbreakable Self-Love, outward love and vulnerability will become easier. Remember, relationship love is not without risks, but the rewards far outweigh the fears. Embrace vulnerability, prioritize self-love, and open yourself up to the profound connections and personal growth that love can bring. Sending lovingkindness to all. AKay AKay's Suggested Toolkit to help Cultivate Self-Love: Journal - Get yourself a personal journal, place to take notes, and calendar to help you on this journey! 2. Essential Oils to help keep you centered and smelling amazing smells! Wear with you your favorite Essential Oil scent and keep calm and centered wherever you are. 3. Meditation Mala Beads, these help you count your breaths. So even if you are not going to do a 20 minuet sitting meditation you can center yourself with 10 deep breaths while making coffee, brushing your teeth, walking, anything. 4. A drink mug or tumbler, for your favorite brew (coffee or tea) or water! You will be surprised at how having a dedicated mug for yourself makes you feel special. Treat yourself, and remind yourself to drink water with a personalized mug. These can be personalized with your name or favorite quote. 5. Make yourself a spot to meditate, pray, think, whatever you call it. I call it a Lovingkindness Corner. You fill this corner with comfy items that remind you you are love, you are important, this is your special place. I have even seen people transform their closet into their Lovingkindness Corner. Fill it with items that inspire you, and make you smile! 6. And last but not least, sometimes Self-Care really is just treating yourself to something to make you feel good about yourself. We are body positive here at AKay One Love Design and we offer sizes XS to 5XL, and size 6 to 16 in shoes, all bodies are beautiful. It's important to feel nice in your clothing, feel beautiful in your own skin. For goodness sake, buy yourself an outfit we all know you always get things for everyone else and you sacrifice and stay wearing the same 3 sets of clothing from 5 years ago. Treat yourself, you literally will be shocked at how much a nice fitting outfit will boost your confidence, positive attitude, and give you a smile that lasts. Wear and Share the Art You Dig! Sending Lovingkindness out to all! I can't wait to hear about your Self-Care journey, and see your pictures of you in your Lovingkindness Corners wearing your new digs with your new found smile! If you are working on yourself it is important to allow yourself time with a professional to help wade through all these feelings and emotions you have stemming from the fear of love, fear of commitment, fear of letting go, dealing with trauma, or anything else in your life that you want to grow from and change. Contact The Zen Panda and see if a Zen Therapeutic Transformative Mentor may be the right path for you. We utilize Zen practices, meditation, discussion therapy, awareness mentoring, and therapeutic companionship to help foster Self-Care, Self-Love, openness, emotional awareness and more. Contact us today! We offer several options to meet you were you are at and with what you are most comfortable with. One Love dear soul.

  • What is Love? Loves Tapestry Vol. 3 Exploring Love: From the Depths of Emotion to the Science Behind It

    Exploring Love: Introduction Ah, love! Isn't it one of the most magical and captivating emotions out there? We've all experienced various forms of love throughout our lives, from the bond we share with family to the dizzying romance that sweeps us off our feet. In this blog post, we'll dig into the different meanings of love, uncover the psychology behind it, and explore the intense feelings it evokes. Plus, we'll have some fun along the way with unique ways to say "I love you" and unveiling five profound, yet unheard-of, quotes on love. So, let's embark on this journey and dive into the enchanting world of love! Exploring Love: Different Meanings of Love Love comes in many shapes and sizes, and it's not limited to the romantic realm. Love encompasses a variety of connections, including familial love, platonic love, self-love, and even the love for animals, inanimate objects or activities. Each of these forms offers unique perspectives on the human experience, reminding us that love is a universal language that speaks to the deepest parts of our souls. Exploring Love: The Psychology of Love Now, let's wake up our thinking minds and unlock the basic science behind love! Psychologists have long studied this complex emotion, and their findings are profound. Love stimulates our brain's reward system, releasing a flood of feel-good chemicals. This explains why we feel a sense of euphoria and happiness when we're in love. Additionally, love has the power to positively impact our mental health, boosting oxytocin levels and reducing stress. So, real positive love truly is good for the heart and mind! Exploring Love: The Deep Feelings of Love Have you ever experienced a love that made your heart race and your thoughts swirl? Deep feelings of love can be intense and passionate, making us feel alive and invincible. These emotions often lead to profound connections with others and create lasting memories. When we love deeply, we open ourselves up to vulnerability, allowing another person to see us for who we truly are. It's a beautiful, albeit sometimes painful, journey that leaves an indelible etch on our souls. The interesting and amazing thing, that many times gets overlooked, is that we can cultivate this dizzying type of love for our selves! Self-Love cultivated after we look inward to our core being, our heart, mind, and soul. To love deeply and fully we must first do some internal work and tap into that universal love of ourselves. Exploring Love: 10 Different Ways to Say "I Love You" As timeless as the "I love you" is, everyone can benefit from expanding our affectionate vocabulary! How about expressing your love in unique ways? Here are ten alternative phrases to convey those three magical words: 1. "You complete me like a missing puzzle piece!" 2. "You're the peanut butter to my jelly, the cheese to my macaroni." 3. "I love you more than ice cream on a hot summer day!" 4. "You are my sunshine on even the cloudiest of days." 5. "I love you to the stars past Mars - our love is universal!" 6. "You're my favorite adventure – the one I never want to end." 7. "I cherish every moment spent in your comforting presence." 8. "You're the melody that plays on repeat in my heart." 9. "Loving you is like breathing – effortless and essential." 10. "You've stolen my heart, so I figured I'd let you keep it forever." Exploring Love: 5 Profound Quotes on Love That No One Has Heard Before Now, for some hidden gems: 1. "Love, like a wildflower, blooms uncontainably, adding beauty to every curve of life's path." 2. "In the chaos of existence, love is the lighthouse guiding us home." 3. "The greatest form of courage lies not in slaying dragons but in loving fiercely, despite our scars." 4. "Love is the masterpiece we craft from the fragments of our vulnerability." 5. "When love's whispers embrace your soul, even the stars pause to listen." Exploring Love: Conclusion Love is a force that binds us all together, transcending borders, cultures, and even scientific understanding. It brings joy, healing, and inspiration to our lives in countless ways. By exploring the different meanings of love, understanding its psychology, embracing deep feelings, the importance of Self-Love, and expressing our affection in unique ways, we can navigate the complex tapestry of this emotion. So, let Self-Love be the guiding star that brightens our paths, enrich our relationships, reminding us that we are never alone in this extraordinary journey of life! AKay The journey for the meaning of love and its importance in our lives is an important one. If you are struggling with cultivating Self-Love, want to discuss further what love means to you, or are trying to navigate difficult types of love in your life, we'd love to hear from you. Leave us a comment and see that others are thinking. You may also join us through The Zen Panda, Zen Therapeutic Mentoring. Our Zen Mentors can help you with understanding and cultivation of self-love, love, and lovingkin in your own life through discussion therapy, Zen practices, philosophical insight, emotional awareness, and communication with a Zen Companion. Call us today or book a session now and start your journey towards awareness and healing. Show how much you appreciate your loved ones with a gift, or treat yourself with something special just for you! Wear and Share the Art You Dig!

  • Navigating Valentine's Day Season: Finding Strength, Love, and Laughter amidst Loss

    Introduction: Hey there, beautiful soul! If you're reading this, chances are you're facing the bittersweet challenge of spending/spent Valentine's Day without your loved one. Whether it's your significant other, family member, or dear friend, the love-filled reminders scattered across this holiday can be tough. Navigating loss can be complex, but fear not, for through meditation, self-care, and a sprinkle of laughter, we're here to help you make it through. So grab your favorite hoodie, something that reminds you of them, some essential oils or scented candles, and let's find strength anew in their absence! 1. The Hoodie: Your Comfy Armor Sometimes, all we need is that cozy, oversized hoodie to wrap ourselves in, like an armor of warmth and comfort. We often associate our loved ones with the feeling of being enveloped in their embrace, so embrace the hoodie and let it serve as a physical reminder of their love. It’s like they're giving you a warm, gentle hug – even if it's just from a memory. 2. The Reminder: A Window to the Heart Photographs and art have a remarkable way of capturing the essence of our emotions. Choose a piece of artwork that reminds you of your loved one – it could be a painting, a photograph, or even a hand-drawn scribble you made together. Hang it where you can see it daily, allowing it to serve as a beautiful window to your heart and a constant reminder of their presence in your life. 3. Essential Oils or Scented Candles: Harnessing Senses and Soothing Souls Essential oils possess incredible healing properties. Find scents that evoke positive memories, such as lavender, eucalyptus, or utilize your favorite scented candle whichever one makes you feel at peace linen or vanilla. Psychologists suggest that smells are deeply tied to our memories, even the beloved scent of freshly baked cookies. Engage your senses through aromatherapy, allowing these beautiful fragrances to whisk your mind to happier days – days filled with your loved one's laughter and unconditional love. Embracing Meditation, Self-Care, and Laughter: Now that you've gathered your comforting trio, it's time to delve into the practices that will truly help you navigate Valentine's Day without judgement, using self-care and compassion. Meditation: Take a few moments each day to sit quietly, allowing your thoughts to come and go like clouds passing through the sky. Embrace the stillness, allowing yourself to connect with your loved one on a deeper, spiritual level. In this serene state, you'll find comfort and solace, as their love transcends physical boundaries. Guided meditations focusing on the breath, or mantra meditations are extremely soothing and can be found easily online. Meditation Example: Find one that resonates with you. Allow emotions to come without judgement, acknowledge them, and allow them to pass. Do a body scan meditation allowing you to ease tension throughout your body, the stress of loss can be found in tight shoulders, clenched jaws, aching hearts. As you scan the body let go of all fears and worries, you are safe in this space that you have made, give yourself permission to be okay in this moment, choose to feel, be kind to yourself, let go of tensions, let go of sorrow, and smile remembering the love you shared with those you have lost. Bring the mind back to your breath and when you feel in that serine place in-between being awake and so relaxed you could sleep, sit there for as many moments as you need. Count your breaths in 1, 2, 3, hold 1, 2, 3 out 1, 2, 3. The day, your life, the stresses will all be there again but in this moment right there wrapped in your hoodie, enjoying the scent of lavender and vanilla, seeing the picture you've chosen etched in your mind, in this moment all is well, your body is calm, mind is calm and may you be at peace. When you are ready bring your attention back to your surroundings take several deep breaths exhaling fully, open your eyes, state a positive affirmation "I can do this", "I am worthy", "I am love". Self-Care: Treat yourself like the treasured individual you are. Whether it’s indulging in a bubble bath, going for a long walk amidst nature's embrace, or relishing your favorite dessert guilt-free, self-care is the key to nurturing your heart. Empower yourself to find joy in little things, and remember, self-love can bloom even in the toughest of times. Laughter: Ah, the remedy that never fails! Surround yourself with people who make you laugh until your stomach hurts – your friends, your family, and even some hilarious sitcom reruns. Laughter has the magical ability to uplift our spirits and remind us that joy exists even amidst sadness. So embrace the lighter side of life, and allow yourself to giggle, snort, and cackle like there's no tomorrow! Quotes: 1. "The greatest tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it." - W. M. Lewis 2. "To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose is the next best." - William M. Thackeray 3. "Love is not a loss. It's a gain, even when it hurts. It teaches us, it changes us, and it shapes us into stronger versions of ourselves." - Unknown Quotes on Love: 1. "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." - Aristotle 2. "The best thing to hold onto in life is each other." - Audrey Hepburn 3. "Love is not about how many days, months or years you have been together. It is all about how much you love each other every day." - Unknown Quotes on Love and Grief: "The pain of grief is the price we pay for love." - Dr. Colin Murray Parkes "In times of grief and sorrow, love is what carries us through, heals us, and helps us find solace once again." - Unknown Conclusion: Dear beautiful soul, navigating Valentine's Day Season, "The Season of Love" without your beloved can be challenging, but through meditation, self-care, and a little laughter, you can wade your way through this rollercoaster of emotions. Embrace the strength that lies within you, for you are resilient. Cherish their memory today and every day, and know that love transcends the physical realm. So, wrap yourself in that hoodie, hang that cherished photograph, let the healing essences of different scents, and meditation guide you. You are not alone – we're here for you, every step of the way. Wishing you love, laughter, and endless memories to cherish. Happy Valentine's Day, kind soul! AKay The Zen Panda with AKay One Love Design offers Zen Therapeutic Mentoring which focuses on mindful body and emotional awareness, discussion therapy, Zen practices to help you heal and grow, meditative solutions, and more. If you are struggling with loss, grief, feeling stuck, or just want to become more connected body and mind we are here to help! Everyone is welcome! We offer several options depending on your needs and comfort level!

  • Self-Care Embrace Being Your Own Forever Valentine: Make Your Day Count! Gift Ideas for Self!

    Self-Care Embrace Being Your Own Forever Valentine: Make Your Day Count! Self-Care Embrace Being Your Own Forever Valentine Introduction: Valentine's Day, the season of love, is at our doorstep. But fret not if you find yourself single this year! Being single on Valentine's Day can be an opportunity for self-care and indulgence. So, let's celebrate the most important relationship you'll ever have ⁠— the one with yourself! Get ready to pamper, comfort, and treat yourself with the best gifts that will make this Valentine's Day one to remember. Self-Care Embrace Being Your Own Forever Valentine Gift Ideas 1. Wrap Yourself in a Cozy Hoodie: There's no better feeling than cuddling up in a warm and comfortable hoodie on a chilly evening. Treat yourself to a cozy hoodie that not only keeps you warm but also boosts your mood and confidence. Snuggle up and relish the comfort while you binge-watch your favorite TV series or enjoy a good book. Self-Care Embrace Being Your Own Forever Valentine Gift Ideas 2. Sink into Sweet Dreams with Pillows and Blankets: Create a haven of relaxation in your bedroom with plush pillows and soft blankets. I don't know about you but filling my bed with soft comfortable pillows and blankets provides a sense of comfort and encourages relaxation and sleep! Indulge in a good night's sleep and wake up feeling refreshed. These dreamy accessories will help transform your space into a sanctuary of tranquility. After all, a good sleep is a form of self-care that sets the tone for a calm mindful day ahead. Self-Care Embrace Being Your Own Forever Valentine Gift Ideas 3. Put Your Name on It! T-Shirt or New Favorite Mug: Show the world that you're proud of who you are by putting your name on a trendy one of a kind t-shirt or drink your favorite coffee or tea from your new fav custom mug. Customizing your own digs adds a unique touch and boosts your self-esteem. Express your identity and let people know that you are your own forever valentine. Wear it with confidence and let your personality shine. Self-Care Embrace Being Your Own Forever Valentine Gift Ideas 4. Delight in Self-Care: Valentine's Day is the perfect time to prioritize self-care. Indulge in activities that make you feel good, whether that's a relaxing bath with essential oils, a rejuvenating yoga session, or a walk in nature. Take the time to pamper yourself and focus on your well-being. Remember, self-love is the key to a defining your worth and being mindful of your soul health and bringing an unbreakable love into your life. Self-Care Embrace Being Your Own Forever Valentine Gift Ideas 5. Rediscover Your Passion: Use this day to reconnect with your own passions and interests. Dust off that old guitar, start writing that book you've always dreamed of, or take up a new hobby that excites you. Embrace your singularity, seize the opportunity to pursue your own goals, and fall in love with yourself and the life you're creating. Self-Care Embrace Being Your Own Forever Valentine Statistical Insight: Just a bit of insight. Interestingly, studies suggest that a significant number of relationships end in the week leading up to Valentine's Day. So, if you recently found yourself single, remember that you're not alone! Instead of dwelling on the past, focus on building a strong foundation within yourself. Self-Care Embrace Being Your Own Forever Valentine Embrace Being Your Own Forever Valentine: Being single on Valentine's Day doesn't mean you can't have an extraordinary day filled with self-love and joy. Treat yourself like the amazing individual that you are. Indulge in self-care rituals, find comfort in cozy accessories, and celebrate your uniqueness. After all, you only have one you, so make it count! Self-Care Embrace Being Your Own Forever Valentine Conclusion: This Valentine's Day, cherish your independence and celebrate the most important relationship you'll ever have ⁠— the one with yourself. Embrace being your own forever valentine, and remember that self-care is the ultimate form of love. Treat yourself to the best gifts that will make you feel cherished and appreciated. So, go ahead, spoil yourself, and make this Valentine's Day a memorable one! Sending Lovingkindness through Art. Wear and Share the Art You Dig! Akay

  • Valentine's Day: When Loss Makes Chocolates and Hearts Slightly Annoying... Am I Resentful?

    "In the depths of sorrow's embrace, When loss seems to consume every space, Remember, dear soul, there lies within, A beauty that lingers, where memories begin. Acknowledge the moments, cherished and dear, The love that transcends, forever near, Take refuge in the warmth they bestowed, Their spirit carried on with each breeze that flowed. When gentle winds caress your face with grace, Know it's their embrace, a sweet embrace, Though loss may be treacherous and tough, Gratitude for their presence is more than enough. For in their absence, we find strength anew, They shaped who we are, a part of us too, So, let us honor their memory with grace, Embracing the beauty that love leaves in its trace. In the tapestry of life, loss we will face, But in that journey, find solace and Peace, For they live on within our hearts' core, Their love forever echoing, even when it is no more." Valentines Day: Am I Resentful? Introduction: Ah, Valentine's Day! The day of love, chocolates, hearts, and overwhelming remembrances of affection. But what happens when we find ourselves suffering a loss during this celebratory time? When those adorable heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and lovey-dovey messages make us feel just a tad resentful? Fear not, dear soul, for you are not alone. Through a humors lens, let's explore how we can navigate Valentine's Day while experiencing loss, finding solace in the beauty that hides within our memories. Valentines Day: Am I Resentful? When Love Hurts: Just when you thought you had successfully dodged Cupid's arrow, life throws a curveball our way. Whether it's a recent breakup, the absence of a loved one, or a reminder of past heartaches, Valentine's Day can be a minefield of emotions when we're feeling fragile. So, grab your favorite snack (chocolates, perhaps?), and let's face this day with humor and self-compassion. Valentines Day: Am I Resentful? The "Delights" of Valentine's Day: Picture this: you walk into any store, and there they are—big, vibrant displays of red and pink, heart-shaped balloons, and boxes of chocolates lined up like a battalion ready to invade your personal space. Suddenly, you can't help but cast a resentful side-eye. Seriously, how much pink can the world handle in just one day? But take a step back and let's revel in the absurdity of it all. Who decided that chocolates and hearts were the ultimate symbols of love? Perhaps we should be grateful we don't express our affection through broccoli-shaped marzipan or beetroot-scented candles. The world could be a much different place, my friend. Valentines Day: Am I Resentful? When Loss Consumes: Loss has a funny way of clouding our minds and taking up all the emotional real estate in our hearts. But as the beloved poem by yours truly (okay, I'm no poet), goes: "When loss seems to consume every space, remember, dear soul, there lies within a beauty that lingers, where memories begin." Within the pain, there are cherished moments and the beauty of shared experiences. Let's take this moment to honor those memories. Share stories with friends or family, laugh about the crazy adventures, and recall the times that made your heart feel full. Remember that love is not confined to the confines of a single day; it is an eternal feeling that resides within us, even in heartache. Valentines Day: Am I Resentful? Embracing Humor: One of the most powerful weapons in our arsenal against Valentine's Day-induced resentment is humor. Find the hilarity in the romantic chaos surrounding you. Create your own celebration by sending yourself a heartfelt Valentine's card, throwing an anti-Valentine's party where everyone wears black and pink, or treating yourself to a "anything I want" day while the world around you succumbs to an overwhelming sugar rush and crash. During times of loss, laughter may feel impossible, but humor is a gentle reminder that life carries on amidst sorrow and that a smile is never too far away. Valentines Day: Am I Resentful? Conclusion: So, dear reader, as Valentine's Day is among us, armed with knowledge, laughter, and a touch of self-compassion, may you navigate this sea of chocolates and hearts with a light heart and a spark of humor. Remember, behind the resentment, there is often a spark of love waiting to be rediscovered. Cherish your memories, embrace laughter, and know that you are never alone in your journey towards healing. As the final stanza of the poem goes: "A beauty that lingers, where memories begin." May that beauty illuminate your path and bring comfort to your soul, even amongst heart-shaped trinkets and canyons full of chocolates. Happy Valentine's Day, dear soul! AKay Enjoy our Valentines Love Collection and Self-Care Collection. Sending Lovingkindness through Art. Wear and Share the Art You Dig! Customize with your name, the name of your loved one, or favorite quote!

  • What is Love? Exploring the Complexity of Love: A Tapestry Woven With Emotional Threads. Vol. 2 How to Incorporate and Cultivate Love into Our Lives

    What is Love? Exploring the Complexity of Love: A Tapestry Woven with Emotional Threads Vol. 2 How to incorporate and cultivate Love into our lives. Watch Video Blog Here: What is Love? Introduction: Love, a profound and enigmatic emotion, has been a subject of fascination for philosophers and psychologists throughout history. It weaves its way through the tapestry of human experience, encompassing a myriad of emotions, complexities, and contradictions. In this article, we will delve into the depths of psychology and philosophy to unravel the intricate nature of love, exploring its emotional threads and the profound impact it holds on our lives.  Then we will explore different avenues in which we can start to incorporate the practice of Love in our everyday lives and cultivate the love from within our hearts, minds, and souls. What is Love? The Psychological Perspective: As mentioned in Vol. 1, Psychology offers valuable insights into the complexities of love, examining the various dimensions that contribute to its tapestry. Love is not a single emotion but a complex amalgamation of different feelings, including affection, attraction, attachment, and empathy. Lets explore some of the different theories on Love: 1. The Triangular Theory of Love: Psychologist Robert Sternberg proposed a model that captures the complexity of love through three key components: passion, intimacy, and commitment. These elements interweave to form different types of love, ranging from romantic infatuation to enduring companionship. 2. Attachment Theory: Based on the work of John Bowlby, attachment theory explores the profound impact of early relationships on our ability to form and sustain love bonds. Our early experiences with caregivers shape our attachment styles, influencing our approach to love and intimacy in adulthood. For example, if our relationship was one full of neglect, our attachment style will look different than someone whose caregivers spent a lot of time with them offering understanding and compassion. 3. The Chemistry of Love: Neurochemical processes underlie the experience of falling in love. Dopamine floods the brain, creating feelings of euphoria and reward, while oxytocin fosters bonding and attachment. Understanding these biological mechanisms helps unravel the emotional threads that compose the tapestry of love. This flood of chemicals explains that overall warm fuzzy feeling we get when we fall in Love. What is Love? The Philosophical Perspective: Philosophy delves into the deeper meanings and implications of love, seeking to understand the nature of this complex emotion and its significance in our lives. 1. Plato's Symposium: In this ancient philosophical text, Plato explores the idea that love is not merely a physical or emotional attraction but a spiritual longing for the divine. Love is seen as a transformative force that drives individuals to seek beauty, truth, and wisdom. In modern times this is seen more with individuals seeking their truth inward, finding that the love we seek has been in us all along. 2. Existentialist Notions of Love: Existential philosophers such as Sartre and de Beauvoir emphasize the individual's freedom and responsibility in love. They argue that love is not an escape from the challenges of existence but a way to confront and embrace the complexities of human relationships. You may have heard people use the phrase “we weren't made to be alone”, this is part of that theory. We are social creatures who need connection, love, and physical touch. That to endure this life with all its pain and drudgery, to be loved and to love allows us a refuge from the outside world. 3. The Paradox of Love: Love's complexity lies in its ability to encompass both vulnerability and strength, joy and pain. Philosophers like Kierkegaard and Nietzsche explore the paradoxical nature of love, highlighting that the very qualities that make love beautiful and transformative also make it fragile and susceptible to suffering. Love's tapestry is woven with threads of vulnerability, as we open ourselves to the possibility of heartbreak and disappointment. The complex nature of relationship love between its euphoric joy to heart retching pain makes it intriguing, but also a reason why some people feign affection, and say “love is not for me”.  But when it is the proper type of love, if there is ever any pain there will be triumphant love. It is worth noting that does not mean if you are in a relationship that is more painful than joyful that you should stay in that relationship in hopes for joy again. Try not to confuse that euphoric first meeting sensation for true deep connectional love. There is a difference and if you have found yourself in a relationship that is painful or dangerous there are ways to safely get yourself out. Remember to always protect yourself and your heart first, and that violence and manipulation are not forms of love. if you are in a relationship that is more painful than joyful that you should stay in that relationship in hopes for joy again. Try not to confuse that euphoric first meeting sensation for true deep connectional love. 4. Unconditional Love: Philosophers like Martin Heidegger and Erich Fromm explore the concept of unconditional love, emphasizing the importance of acceptance, empathy, and compassion in relationships. Unconditional love transcends the ego and embraces the other person's humanity, flaws, and all. What is Love? Unconditional Love: Unconditional love is a deep and profound form of love that is free from any conditions or expectations. It is a love that is given freely, without any requirements or demands. Unconditional love accepts and embraces someone exactly as they are, without seeking to change or control them. What is Love? Here are a few examples to help illustrate the concept of unconditional love: In exploring the complexities of love, we must also acknowledge that love is not limited to romantic relationships. Love can be found in the bonds of friendship, the connections between family members, and the compassion we extend to strangers as well as yourselves. Love is a universal force that has the power to transform individuals and communities. 1. Parental Love: In theory a parent's love for their child is often seen as the purest form of unconditional love. Regardless of their child's successes or failures, a parent loves their child unconditionally. They support them, guide them, and provide a safe and nurturing environment, regardless of any conditions or expectations. Now we all know there are exceptions to this, but in general this is the purest type of unconditional love. When a baby is born its parents brains are flooded with those love hormones to form attachments and bonds with the baby, there is an instinctual protective mechanism that kicks on including love. 2. Romantic Love: In a romantic relationship, unconditional love means accepting your partner wholly and completely. It means loving them for who they are, flaws and all, without trying to change them. It means supporting their dreams and aspirations, and being there for them through thick and thin, regardless of any conditions or expectations. Unconditional love in Romantic Relationships is complex yet quite rewarding. Have you ever watched an elderly couple out and about where they have been together 50 years and they still hold hands, laugh, are kind to each other. This is that unconditional lasting Romantic love. No neither of them are perfect but they love each other unconditionally imperfections and all. To love unconditionally in a Romantic Relationship, we first must understand our own boundaries, foster acceptance, and understanding. 3. Friendship Love: Unconditional love can also be present in friendships. Friends who love unconditionally accept each other's quirks, differences, and mistakes. They provide a safe space for vulnerability and understanding, without judgment or conditions. They are there for each other through the ups and downs of life, offering support and love without expecting anything in return. Friendship Love is one of the purest forms of unconditional love because the physical aspect is taken out of the picture. Unconditional long-lasting friendships are a beautiful thing, these people become our “best friend” If you have an unconditional friendship with someone where it is a two way street of acceptance, compassion, love, laughter, and joy, count yourself lucky and make sure to show your friend that you appreciate them! 4. Self-Love and Self-Care: Self-Care starts with efforts towards loving ourselves and ends up in unconditional love for yourself. Unconditional love starts with loving yourself. It means accepting and embracing your own strengths and weaknesses, forgiving yourself for past mistakes, and nurturing a deep sense of compassion and kindness towards yourself. Self-love allows you to love others unconditionally, as you have learned to love without expectations or conditions. To love unconditionally, it is important to let go of expectations and attachments. It means embracing both the light and dark aspects of yourself and others, and allowing love to flow freely without any conditions, and free of judgement. Unconditional love is a powerful force that can bring healing, growth, and transformation into our lives and the lives of those around us. Unconditional love for yourself is something that you grow over time and if it is something that you are working on, good for you! It is an exciting journey of self-expression and exploration to get to a place of acceptance, compassion, and love for oneself without judgement. If you are feeling stuck, thats okay, saying that you love yourself all flaws included is not always an easy task, take it slow, there may be years of negativity that must be unraveled to get to your truest core where you can begin to like yourself. But remember, don’t give up on yourself! You are an amazing, beautiful, genuine spirit and you deserve your love as much as anyone else. What is Love? Love and Meaning: Love is often regarded as a fundamental source of meaning in life. Philosophers like Viktor Frankl argue that love provides a purpose and a reason to live, as it connects us to something greater than ourselves and gives our existence a sense of significance. Which personally I believe to be true, but the connection of self-love, the universe, and the creator, not relationship love. When you walk through life in love things feel and look different. Beauty is everywhere and you will find significance in a sunset or the blooming of a flower and you see through a lens of compassion, oneness, connection, and beauty. Many have spent their entire lives in the pursuit of the meaning of life through relationship love. In my opinion that was a mistake as they were seeking and pursuing the love from a relationship, they missed the beauty in their own hearts. Many have spent their entire lives in the pursuit of the meaning of life through relationship love. In my opinion that was a mistake as they were seeking and pursuing the love from a relationship, they missed the beauty in their own hearts. What is Love? The Intersection of Psychology and Philosophy: When we bring together the insights from psychology and philosophy, we can begin to grasp the intricate tapestry that is love. Psychology helps us understand the psychological processes and dynamics that underpin our experiences of love, while philosophy deepens our understanding of love's meaning and its profound impact on human existence. Love's tapestry is not a static entity but a dynamic and evolving creation, shaped by our experiences, beliefs, and values. It is a delicate balance of emotions, thoughts, and actions, requiring effort, understanding, and empathy to maintain its timeless intricate patterns. What is Love Conclusion: Love, with all its complexities, is a tapestry woven with emotional threads that bind us together. It encompasses passion and commitment, vulnerability and strength, pleasure and pain. Understanding the psychological and philosophical dimensions of love as well as our own interpretations and experiences helps us appreciate its profound impact on our lives and relationships. As we navigate the depths of love's tapestry, let us approach it with curiosity, compassion, and an open heart, embracing its twists and turns. For it is within the rich and diverse threads of love that we find connection, growth, and the potential for profound transformation, enlightenment, self-care, connection, and growth. For it is within the rich and diverse threads of love that we find connection, growth, and the potential for profound transformation, enlightenment, self-care, connection, and growth. Love's tapestry is a work in progress, constantly evolving as we continue to try and navigate this complex yet astonishing emotion. It is a delicate balance of vulnerable emotions, thoughts, and actions, requiring effort, understanding, and empathy to maintain its design. Love is a delicate balance of vulnerable emotions, thoughts, and actions, requiring effort, understanding, and empathy to maintain its design. Stay Tuned for our Next Blog on What is Love? Exploring the Complexity of Love: A Tapestry Woven with Emotional Threads  Vol. 3 Ancient Wisdom and How to Foster Your Connection to Love and Bring its Beauty into Your Life. Here at AKay One Love Design We continue to pursue the meaning of love and share our journey with you, for the 14 Days of “The Season of Love” we will be exploring love, its biology, its philosophy, how we cultivate it, how to explain love to our littles, love and loss, and much more!  Delve into this journey with us and enrich your minds and hearts this Valentine Season! Sending Lovingkindness out to all!

  • What is Love? The Complexity of Love: A Tapestry Woven with Emotional Threads Vol. 1

    What is Love? The Complexity of Love: A Tapestry Woven with Emotional Threads... Love, an emotion as old as humanity itself, remains one of the most profound and widely discussed topics in both academic and personal circles. It's an emotion that can motivate wars yet foster peace, create life-long bonds, and sometimes result in heart-wrenching separations. Love is not just a simple feeling; it's a complex tapestry woven with emotional, cognitive, and social threads that color the human experience. Listen to Blog Here: Love's tapestry is an ever-evolving masterpiece, constantly shaped by the intricacies of human relationships.  It is a delicate tapestry woven with the threads of emotions, thought, and actions requiring continuous effort, understanding, and empathy to maintain its intricate patters. What is Love? The Psychological Dimensions of Love Psychologists have attempted to categorize love into different types. Perhaps the most renowned classification comes from Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love, which suggests that love is composed of three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy refers to feelings of closeness and connectedness, passion to the drive that leads to romance and physical attraction, and commitment to the decision to love someone in the long term. Another psychological perspective comes from the work of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, who explored attachment theory. Their research suggests that our early relationships with caregivers form the blueprint for later love relationships, influencing how we perceive intimacy, handle separation, and experience romantic love. Their research suggests that our early relationships with caregivers form the blueprint for later love relationships, influencing how we perceive intimacy, handle separation, and experience romantic love. What is love? Love Through the Philosophical Lens Philosophers have also grappled with the concept of love, often debating its nature and ethical implications. Plato, in his Symposium, spoke of love as a ladder of ascent, starting from physical attraction and culminating in the love of the form of beauty itself – an eternal and unchanging truth. Contemporary philosophers continue to explore love's role in personal identity and moral development. Alain de Botton suggests that love is a skill to be learned rather than just an emotion to be felt, proposing that we can cultivate it through patience, understanding, and empathy. Alain de Botton suggests that love is a skill to be learned rather than just an emotion to be felt, proposing that we can cultivate it through patience, understanding, and empathy. What is Love? The Biology Behind Love Biologically, love triggers a cocktail of chemicals in our brains. Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin play significant roles in the feelings associated with love. Oxytocin, often called the 'love hormone,' is particularly interesting due to its role in social bonding, maternal behaviors, and trust. The biology of love is a fascinating realm that delves into the intricate workings of our brains, bodies, and emotions. When we experience love, a cascade of chemical reactions and neural processes take place, influencing our thoughts, actions, and overall well-being. The release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin creates feelings of pleasure, joy, and attachment, reinforcing the bonds we form with our loved ones. When we experience love, a cascade of chemical reactions and neural processes take place, influencing our thoughts, actions, and overall well-being. The release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin creates feelings of pleasure, joy, and attachment, reinforcing the bonds we form with our loved ones. These biological mechanisms serve a crucial purpose, as love plays a vital role in our lives. It fosters social connections, promotes emotional resilience, and contributes to our overall happiness and fulfillment. Love has the power to heal, nurture, and inspire us, allowing us to experience the profound sense of belonging and connection that is essential for our well-being. Understanding the biology of love not only enriches our appreciation for this extraordinary human experience but also provides insights into how we can cultivate and nurture love in our lives. What is Love? Love in Literature and Art Love has been a central theme in literature and art for centuries, serving as a muse for countless creative expressions throughout history. From the tragic romance of Romeo and Juliet to the enduring love letters of famous historical figures, or the timeless works of artists like Van Gogh and Picasso, love in literature and art allows us to explore the depths of our own hearts, provoke introspection, and provide a universal language that connects us all. love in literature and art allows us to explore the depths of our own hearts, provoke introspection, and provide a universal language that connects us all. Artistic representations of love often reflect the cultural and societal norms of the time, providing a window into how love is perceived and valued within different contexts. Through the lens of creativity, love becomes a timeless and eternal subject, reflecting the profound impact it has on our lives and the human experience as a whole. In literature, love is often portrayed as a powerful force that transcends boundaries and ignites the deepest emotions within us. It has the ability to inspire poetry, prose, and stories that capture the complexities of human relationships. Love in art manifests itself through captivating visual representations, evoking a range of emotions and capturing intimate moments of affection, longing, and passion. What is Love? Love's Challenges and Rewards Despite its beauty, love is not without its challenges. Jealousy, possessiveness, and fear of loss can turn love sour, while cultural expectations and social pressures can distort its expression. Yet, the rewards of love - deep emotional connection, personal growth, and the joy of companionship - make navigating its complexities worthwhile. the rewards of love - deep emotional connection, personal growth, and the joy of companionship - make navigating its complexities worthwhile. In the modern age, love faces new dimensions with digital communication and online dating changing how we connect and form relationships. The scholarly study of love is more relevant than ever as we seek to understand how love evolves in a rapidly changing world. As we continue to unravel the tapestry of love, let us approach it with unwavering compassion and the spirit of connection.  Let us recognize that love is not a destination to be reached, but an exhilarating journey of exploration and discovery. LOVE is not a destination to be reached, but an exhilarating journey of exploration and discovery. With each thread we weave into this magnificent masterpiece, we have the power to create a profound sense of connection, solace, and fulfillment.  So, let us embrace the imperfections and uncertainties, for it is within these moments that we find the true beauty and transformative power of love.  Together, let us embark on this extraordinary adventure, embracing love's tapestry with boundless enthusiasm and unwavering compassion. What is Love? Conclusion Love, in all its forms, shapes, and stages, continues to be a central pursuit in human life. It is a rich subject for scholarly inquiry and personal exploration. As we continue to learn about love from psychology, philosophy, biology, and the arts, we can appreciate its complexity and its profound impact on our lives. In the embrace of love, we find both the universal and the intimately personal. It is the thread that weaves humanity together, a fundamental experience that transcends time, culture, and circumstance, reminding us that at our core, we are all connected by the capacity to love and be loved. Love is the thread that weaves humanity together, a fundamental experience that transcends time, culture, and circumstance, reminding us that at our core, we are all connected by the capacity to love and be loved. Love is all around us, is part of us, is the essence of everyone and everything.  Our brains are inherently wired to seek and desire love. From an evolutionary perspective, the need for love and connection is deeply ingrained in our biological makeup. Our brains are also intricately wired to want love, as it fulfills our innate need for connection, companionship, and emotional fulfillment. Lastly, let us embrace the imperfections and uncertainties that come along with love. Love's tapestry is not meant to be a flawless masterpiece, but rather a representation of the messy and beautiful nature of human connection.  It is within the imperfections that we find growth, resilience, and the opportunity for deeper understanding. Keep Reading for Quotes: Thank you for reading! We are excited to be celebrating “The Season of Love” with you, as our essence is love and lovingkindness. The previous blog post on love is based on well-established theories and concepts within the fields of psychology and philosophy.  In celebration of "The Season of Love" over the next two weeks here at AKay One Love Design we will be exploring "Love" in many forms, how vital it is for our well-being, its complexities, the topics lovingkindness, self-love, love and loss, being single, and more. Don’t forget to check out the Valentines Love Collection and the Self-Love Collections. New items will be added daily! FROM OUR VALENTINES LOVE COLLECTION: What is Love? Quotes Just Because: 1. "Love is the voice under all silences, the hope which has no opposite in fear; the strength so strong mere force is feebleness: the truth more first than sun, more last than star." - E.E. Cummings, "Love is a Place" 2. "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." - Aristotle 3. "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." - Christian, Moulin Rouge! 4. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 5. "Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." - Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land 6. "Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it." - Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember 7. "Love is a friendship set to music." - Joseph Campbell 8. "Love is the bridge between you and everything." - Rumi 9. "Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." - Franklin P. Jones 10. "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend." - Martin Luther King Jr. May you have a beautiful day and enthusiasm as you go forward in your Loving adventures. See you tomorrow! One Love Artist AKay Zen Therapeutic Mentorship is a beautiful way to learn how to open up love, self-love, compassion, connection, healing, and work on our relationships! Book now, spots are limited!

  • 2 Out of Every 3 Companion Animals are Massacred in the U.S. Every Week! Urgent Donations Needed!

    ANIMAL LOVERS PAY ATTENTION!!! DEVASTATING STATISTICS & FACTS ABOUT EUTINIZATION OF COMPANION ANIMALS, It Is..... 2 Out of Every 3 Companion Animals are Massacred in the U.S. Every Week! Due to economic hardship of their Loving Person/s 2 out of Every 3 Companion Animals will be Massacred in the U.S. Every Week, and we need your help! For Giving Tuesday, Giving Thursday & to play your part in igniting a No Kill Ever Keep Together Movement Please Give to The Allie and Poppy Fund Let's help One Animal Forever Family at a Time stay together, stay well, and overcome economic torcher, hardship, pressure, uncertainty, and the traumatic loss of their beloved Animals. You may make your Donation at: Help Allie & Poppy Get Their Spunk Back | Fundly or at Lovinkindness Donations | Akay One Love Design Giving today will help prevent Allie and Poppy from ending up THOSE 2 out of every 3 companion animals that are Massacred in the U.S. Their loving owner is in fear that Allie and Poppy will end up with this fate unless they receive much needed financial assistance. They will be Murdered without help! IN THIS ARTICLE: SAVE TWO PRECIOUS PUPS NOW DONATE DEVASTATING STATISTICS THE PURPOSE THE HOPE THE STORY BEHIND THE MOVEMENT HUMBLE REQUEST THANKS TO OUR SUPPORTERS WARNING TRUTH ABOUT EUTHANAZATION VIDEO 1 VIDEO 2 ALLIE AND POPPY THREE WAYS TO GIVE IMPORTANT LINKS IMPORTANT NOTE DEVASTATING STATISTICS ABOUT EUTINIZATION OF 2 out of every 3 COMPANION ANIMALS, It Is..... Murder! For GIVING TUESDAY, the Rollover Giving Week, Giving Thursday and to help ignite a No Kill Ever Keep Together Movement PLEASE GIVE WHERE IT COUNTS. There is a devastating reality going on that no one seems to be talking about. Those of us that are Animal Lovers find this to be a disturbing, sad, frustrating, and DEVISTATING reality. MILLIONS OF COMPANION ANIMALS ARE EXECUTED EACH YEAR. MILLIONS, let that sink in MILLIONS! Just in the U.S. 2 out of every 3 Companion Animals! The Purpose: This year let's help one family keep two of their Companion Puppies Allie and Poppy. Lets start the Allie and Poppy Movement of No Kill Ever Keep Together! No matter financial or economic struggles, helping with the cost or free medication, veterinary care, food, shelter, counseling, & training for all companion animals in need. If we raise enough money not only can these two beautiful puppies Allie & Poppy stay with their Loving Family, but we can start the Allie and Poppy Foundation to continue to help other families with the same need. For less than your daily cup of coffee or tea you can save two animals lives! And with the Allie and Poppy Movement possibly thousands! Our Companion Animals Puppy s, Dogs, Cats, Birds, Horses, Rabits, Lizards, any other become our babies, they become our children, our families. However, because the Veterinary Care and Medication they need when they fall ill is so extremely expensive, we should not have to watch our animals be murdered when we can't find help. The Statistics: People think that Euthanasia is a painless, peaceful process. IT IS NOT! (Read Below) 2 out of every 3 companion animals are Massacred EVERY WEEK by way of euthanasia. Each year over 6.3 Million Companion Animals must be Surrendered to animal shelters due to economic struggles of their loving owners. (this does not include abandoned or homeless animals) 3.1 million are Dogs, and 3.2 million are cats. 6.3 Million Animals is the population size of New York City, New York! Imagine all of New York New York full of these poor animals. 1.5 million companion animals are euthanized in U.S. Each Year this is 2 out of every 3 companion animals devastatingly massacred every week due solely to financial and economic hardships of the animals person/s. 1.5 million is almost the size of Chicago! Can you just imagine! That many poor souls lost because of financial hardship, and at least that many owners left traumatized and saddened from losing their cherished pet baby. The Hope: The Allie & Poppy Movement is a hope to get started because of one owners' precious companion and support animals, two Dashun'd-Jack Russel Puppies Allie & Poppy who fell extremely ill and are in danger of this fate. The main goal is #1 To get these puppies well, and if there is enough of a response #2 Make it possible for Allie & Poppy to stay with their Loving Owner; and #3 Start the Allie & Poppy Foundation. The Story Behind the Movement: AKay One Love Design Owner/Artist AKay is the owner and Loving Pet Mom to Allie and Poppy and is Sponsoring Allie and Poppy on her website www.akayonelovedesign.com/lovinkindness-donations for Giving Tuesday and started a Fundraising account at Help Allie & Poppy Get Their Spunk Back | Fundly The Artist's Business AKay One Love Design www.akayonelovedesign.com is attempting to utilize a unique ideal of Sending Lovingkindness through the use of many forms of Art. The business is still brand new. Unfortunately, AKay and her family have fallen on hard times economically and her puppies Allie and Poppy fell extremely ill with gastroenteritis, hookworm, ringworm, and whipworm, and if left untreated will ultimately DIE. Either by their sickness, or by being euthanized and massacred at a shelter. After researching, searching, talking with people, asking for help, applying for funds and asking for help on Social Media over and over devastatingly for weeks while watching her animals suffer the Artist AKay has vowed that the Fundly that was originally just to Help Allie & Poppy Get Their Spunk Back has morphed into a want to save even more animals with the Allie and Poppy Movement, with the hopes of starting the Allie and Poppy Foundation. The Humble Request: Care; If you are an Animal Lover lets show our care and concern this year and help start this movement. Donate; Give any amount you can spare, we understand the financial and economic hardships during this time. We are accepting donations as low as $1 Share! Please share this story, share with your friends and family on Social Media or anywhere/anytime you wish! Sharing is Caring! When you share use the tags: #LoveOverMoney #AllieandPoppyMovement #SaveAllieAndPoppy #EuthanasianIsNotPeaceful #NoKillEver #KeepTogether #RolloverGivingWeek #GivingTuesday #ContinueGivingThursday #GivingThursday With desperation we ask that you please, please, please give anything you can. Every $1 will help! If 1 Million People give $1 we can make a change! If you cannot help, please share this. Please make this go viral. Make real-life story, and a serious issue that many in the U.S. are facing, of complete desperation, sorrow, and suffering something people are talking about. Tremendous Thanks to Our Supporters So Far: Mike Love from Mike Love Music supported Allie and Poppy, he was the first to Donate; The Banfield Veterinary Hospital Foundation provided Veterinary Services (excluding medication) and will be providing the girls medication (once funds are raised), follow-ups, and care for 1 year! Please Join them for as little as $1, $25, $50, $75 or $100+. Starting at $25.00 and up you will receive a Gift. Only you can truly look into your heart and know if this is the right cause for you but know that your decision will make a genuine and significant difference towards a situation of continuous suffering, please help end the suffering. If you are able to give the financial support you will provide will play a major role in Saving the Lives of Allie & Poppy, you will be providing hope to this loving family, and be in on the beginning of the Allie & Poppy Movement! Where you will play a part in helping thousands! If you are unable to give, thank you for reading, we appreciate you and your time, please share, share, share! Please Share our Story! Please use the tags: #LoveOverMoney #AllieandPoppyMovement #SaveAllieAndPoppy #EuthanasianIsNotPeaceful #NoKillEver #RolloverGivingWeek #GivingTuesday #ContinueGivingThursday #GivingThursday We give thanks to each and every one of you who Loves Animals enough to support our cause! Sending lovingkindness, peace, and joy out to you all. One Love! WARNING Below is more information about the Euthanasia process, please be warned that this information is graphic in nature and is your decision to continue reading. This unspeakable truth about what happens to our beloved animals, as seen by the writer, when we have to surrender a companion animal because of economic changes and financial hardship, and they are unable to be adopted. This is for information purposes. This is sad, frustrating, devastating, but honest glimpse at what MILLIONS of companion animals, our animals, our babies suffer every week. 2 companion animals a week are put to death by Euthanasia, solely because of financial hardship. We can make a change we can make a difference. One Love TRUTH ABOUT EUTHINIZATION: (Warning: This is graphic & heartbreaking) Euthanasia is NOT a humane way to put overcrowded Companion Animals, who would otherwise be with their loving Animal Parents/Families if not for financial & economic hardship, to “sleep”. Euthanasia is a combination of a barbiturate anesthetic (usually pentobarbital) which causes rapid disconnection of the nervous system resulting in a fast explosive cardiac arrest and an anticonvulsant (usually phenytoin) which stops the animal from reacting to the first drug in drastic violent repeated convulsive seizures as the Animals body fights to survive. This is not humane. Imagine an animal must be surrendered, the owner Loves them dearly but financially cannot even afford to feed them, much less if they become ill and need veterinary care. The dog or cat or other animal is afraid, has been thrown into a scary place and now is alone without the comfort of their person. Imagine this dog, cat, or other animal is not adopted in whatever timeframe is set, and the shelter is full, so the shelter opts to use euthanasia. (Remember this is happening 2x a week every week) Now imagine this poor soul is removed from their kennel, taken to a cold room, and put up onto a cold metal table sedated but still fully conscious, they are laid onto a table. At this point they usually are alone, no one they recognize with them, afraid, anxious, terrified. They can still smell, hear, see, taste, and are aware of their surroundings. An IV Catheter is inserted into an artery for delivery of this medication. The animal is afraid but is sedated so a high pitch whimper is all they can cry out. As the tech moves along the process the Animal is now injected with a medication that will sever the connections of the central nervous system. This will stop intentional motor movements, vocal control, bowel and urinary control, slows breathing. The animal is fully aware of these sensations, they are conscious, their brain is active. By now they have lost all bowels and urinary control before their breathing slows to cause raspatory distress (similar to suffocation) then almost immediately the heart explodes into Cardiac Arrest (A Heart Attack). This is not a "painless process" and at this point the confused, suffering, terrified animal may likely pass out from shock or the excruciating pain. Next the technician will administer the second medication to stop the animals' bodies innate will to survive this attack. The animals' poor helpless body will flail violently and convulse into seizures trying to save itself. With a burst of adrenalin trying to reconnect to its life. All while the brain, sight, and hearing are still active. The second medication stops this violent and vigorous last attempt at survival for the HUMANS' benefit, not the animals. The animal's mind and body are still going through this violent last attempt by the brain to reconnect and mend what has been done to it, fighting to survive, including sensations, there are just no muscle movements to match because of the sedation and anticonvulsant medication. Until sadly and devastatingly the body can fight no more, and the precious animal succumbs to the medication. Meanwhile most of the Loving Companion Animals Families have no idea their beloved animal has suffered this fate. Important Note: Now, I am not here to say that there are not worse methods than this, or that this is the wrong choice for anyone who has had to make the devastating and difficult choice to put their beloved companion "to sleep" because they were suffering, what they were enduring alive was worse than death. But, I am saying that Companian Animals, Animals that are Abandoned, Animals that were born to this world that cannot be taken care of properly, have suffered abuse, animals that otherwise would stay with their loving families but cannot due to economic restraints or financial hardships (Like Allie and Poppy). Beautiful, Kind, Wonderful Animals who have lots of life, love, joy, and light left to share should not suffer such a terrible fate. Please help me in stopping this end for Allie and Poppy, with the hopes of helping thousands more families keep their beloved animals from becoming those 2 out of 3 Companian Animals that are Massacred Every WEEK! THREE WAYS TO SEND LOVINGKINDESS TO ALLIE AND POPPY AND SUPPORT THE ALLIE AND POPPY MOVEMENT TODAY! Save these two precious puppies now! Important Links From and For this Article: Help Allie & Poppy Get Their Spunk Back | Fundly or at Lovinkindness Donations | Akay One Love Design AKay One Love Design www.akayonelovedesign.com AKay One Love Design Face Book: AKay One Love Design Allie and Poppy Face Book: Allie and Poppy Twitter: @AKayOneLoveDesign YouTube: www.youtube.com/AKayOneLoveDesign Statistics: www.ASPCA.org Poppy and Allie collection of pictures. Thank you for your support! Help us ignite a Change! IN THIS ARTICLE: SAVE TWO PRECIOUS PUPS NOW DONATE DEVASTATING STATISTICS THE PURPOSE THE HOPE THE STORY BEHIND THE MOVEMENT HUMBLE REQUEST THANKS TO OUR SUPPORTERS WARNING TRUTH ABOUT EUTHANAZATION VIDEO 1 VIDEO 2 ALLIE AND POPPY THREE WAYS TO GIVE IMPORTANT LINKS IMPORTANT NOTE The loss of an Animal is not only upsetting it can be traumatizing, sorrowful, frustrating, and sometimes confusing. If you are struggling with the loss of your Companion Animal please contact The Zen Panda. TZP is available 24/7 Online, by phone/text at 872.256.0639, or e-mail at akayonelove03@outlook.com to begin your Healing Journey Today.

  • About Life and Things… The Concept of being Hyper-Sensitive

    The Concept of being Hype-Sensitive, Too-Emotional, or an Over-Thinker as it relates to life and healing. One Love Life and Things encompasses a large scope of topics with respect to my life. I've had a number of experiences that, I think, many may relate with. I am hopeful that my words can ignite thought, spark healing, further understanding, and cultivate lovingkindness. The concept of being told over an over in life that I am too sensitive, over sensitive, hyper sensitive, hyper emotional, over emotional, too emotional, I think too much, I have too many thoughts and feelings, is based from a perception that being sensitive is a bad thing, that having emotions isn’t something that is allowed or is something that should be hidden, and that thoughts and feelings should be minimal….. This perception, concept, idea (whatever you call it) to me now as an adult is completely absurd. Yet, growing up, hearing this over and over again gave me the learned perception and perspective that this concept was indeed true, and that if I am being told this by my family (the structure that is the only thing I have to base the world on) then everywhere and everything must be based in this concept, therefore I must be "wrong" or "bad" for feeling and thinking so much. So instead of nurturing and guiding a child with curiosity and compassion built into their soul, my family just stomped out the light and ignored me or said phrases that to a little mind meant NO, BAD, Stop that. With no real explanation as to why being sensitive was “harmful” or having emotions were “bad”. Just ugh I don’t want to deal with this “overly sensitive child”. So, from a very young age I learned to hide what I actually thought and felt, learned to be quiet and un-heard, un-asking, un-telling, learned to only share what might get me some type of acceptance in this family structure of toxicity and loneliness. And you know what? I was considered quite behaved and a “good girl” after that. I didn’t feel like a disappointment to everyone around me when I hid my true feelings, thoughts, and/or emotions, so it became the “normal” that I would encompass for many many many years. As I grew older and less naive about the world around me, and the people in it, and realized that my family was not everything and the only thing to base life on, I grew conflicted about this concept of being hyper-sensitive. I learned that being sensitive, knowledgeable, and empathetic was a beautiful thing, it includes love, kindness, compassion, joy, feelings of care and empathy towards others and myself, curiosity, challenge, growth, and understanding. Thinking "outside the box" felt fun and interesting. I actually found myself wanting to learn and learn and continue to learn because the limits that had been put on me as a child had made me feel like learning anything “outside the box” was unnecessary and would contribute to my “too many” thoughts and feelings. I also grew conflicted and didn’t understand why I was deprived of the feelings of love and closeness and oneness with my family. Did they know they were doing this? Part of me still feels like they are so selfish they will never understand that them being uncomfortable with their own feelings and thoughts and them not knowing how to express themselves properly really affected me growing up and will stay with me for the rest of my life. That yearn for Love and that feeling of abandonment when encountered at a young age is something hard to redirect and relearn. Not impossible, but the feelings from which this came from and where this started will, I think, always be embedded into my heart. Part of me wants to know why, the other just feels grief and compassion for the family members that still can’t say I Love You and mean it, or feel compassion or empathy for others, or love or happiness in their own hearts for themselves. Love is the feeling I have in my heart and soul. Not a feeling I get from someone or something else. It is what I call the universal light intertwined with truth, oneness, joy, peace, kindness, compassion, centeredness, lovingkindness, harmony, synchronicity, an energy, an essence, a piece of myself humming along with the rhythm of the universe. It is very difficult to describe in words, to help you visualize, but is the most important and beautiful part of life that I can think of and have ever felt. And this Love that I can finally name only came after two people in particular (my first-born son, and my husband may his soul rest in paradise) provided me with this type of love in a tangible way. I want my children to ALWAYS understand this feeling of LOVE and understand that thoughts and feelings are important and valid and needed for growth and understanding of self and of their view of the world. That their feelings and thoughts will ALWAYS be important to me, and that the love I encompass is theirs. But before Love, compassion, spirituality, and understanding there was a lot of anger, resentment, agitation, hate, aggression, depression, sadness, rage, frustration, loneliness, self-hate, self-loathing, self-torcher. What felt like a void in my heart so vast, so dark, so empty, so sad that I would never be able to escape it, fill it, or understand it. There was a tremendous amount of suffering that came along with this void. Trying to fill this void with substances, people, things, all in an attempt to calm my emotions and feelings. Addictive Substance use and abuse to try and quiet my own mind and frustrations with self and not feeling worthy of life. It was hard for me to believe that so much of this stemmed from me not receiving the compassion, encouragement, and love I needed as a child to engage the parts of me that were "too much". But once I became aware of this, I was finally able to do something to change it for myself. Not blame my childhood and continue to torture myself saying "well, it is what it is", that’s how I think. NO. I was not going to just victimize myself, especially armed with awareness and knowledge that I now had. I thought addressing some of this with members of my family that caused this harm to me would be a bright idea… It was not… But it was a lesson and opportunity for me to understand and grow as a person, learn acceptance that even though as I grow older and change and learn, not everyone does, and that at any point I am allowed to give myself permission to stop allowing others to hurt me. So that is what I have done. I gave myself permission to stop seeking acceptance from toxic family members that cannot or will not provide me with the acceptance I was seeking. I gave myself permission to be angry and upset that the people I love and cherish do not love and cherish me in the same or similar way. However, I did not allow myself to stay angry and upset. I allowed myself to move forward from the anger into a place of my own acceptance of self, to say that everyone is allowed to be where they are and I can only expect people to be who they are, period, and trying to change that will cause me more harm than love. Accepting that trying to change that, which I have no ability to change, will cause me more harm than love was a powerful understanding and awareness for me because this allowed me to say I deserve to cause myself LOVE not harm and in turn gave myself the CHOICE to no longer stay angry or upset about things I cannot change. Giving myself permission to move forward and work on things that are in my control and that I can change. Starting with myself, and usually ending with myself. The Drug use was extreme and even though some of these awareness’s and permissions happened while I was still in the midst of either addiction or bouncing from using to non-using to using, to deaths door and back, the lessons stayed with me in my arsenal, helping to end my own extreme suffering when I finally was ready (with an intense amount of help of course). When you live through drug addiction, in a world of chaos, hate, loss, grief, sadness, anger, trauma, craving, suffering, death, and you finally see that you want to live and not die, things that once felt really heavy you are now able to lift. At least I was. Emotions, thoughts, feelings, life situations, guilt, shame, loss, grief, hate, dealing with adult trauma, dealing with childhood issues and trauma, that I thought were too heavy to deal with became things that while they were not easy to deal with by any means, but when compared to death they didn’t seem as heavy to handle one at a time. When I face these with my arsenal of understanding, permissions, LOVE, Lovingkindness, peace, a want for no more suffering, awareness, oneness, compassion, the universal love and light, the memory of my loving husband, the love of my then just 1 child, and a genuine want/will to LIVE, I now could see hope. I could see a sliver of a glimmer of moonlight at the end of that vast void that once consumed my soul, and my thoughts and feelings were allowed because I said they were, and my compassion and love is allowed because it is part of the essence of my being, and I am allowed to be me because I say so, you dig, not because anyone else has given me the permission to be or not to be. That is the feeling of freedom, that is a feeling greater than any drug, or any amount of money, or outward love, that feeling of freedom to love and be as I say for me without feelings of guilt or shame, with the light of the universe shining from my heart for only me to know and understand. That is life, that is peace, that is truth, that is where it is at. Not seeking validation from those that have no understanding of who I really am in my soul, or who you really are at the core. In Case No One Has Ever Told You... Or Given You Permission... And even though you don’t need it from an outside voice, (just in case) I say you are love and you are life and you are worthy and you are the best thing to ever happen to this world because you are love and life and light and without you this world would be dark and dim and dreary. Your thoughts are important, your kindness is important, your compassion, your love, your words are important, YOU ARE IMPORTANT! And even though you don’t need my permission, if no one has ever given you permission, I give you permission to love yourself, to be yourself, to trust in yourself and know that you don’t have to prove anything to anyone ever except for your own heart and if you are okay with how things are for your own heart than you are winning! And even though you don’t need my permission, if no one else including yourself has ever given you permission to just be you, or made you feel worthy I am telling you, be you, you have permission to feel worthy and to feel love. And even though you don’t need it from me, if no one else has told you, again, you are important, you are needed, you are love, you are loved, you are joy, you are peace, you are truth, and you are beautiful. And even though you don’t need it from me, if no one else has ever told you, you are not overly sensitive, you don’t think to much, and you are not hyper emotional. You are just right, and your dharma is leading you to a path where your sensitive and emotional nature will flourish. I hope that any and everyone who ever reads this feels the love that is pouring from my heart, mind, and soul to yours, and that my words from my own journey may help someone on their own healing path. Becoming aware that it is okay for you to JUST BE YOU, is where it's at, you dig?! One Love Namaste', I hope this writing has found you well, at peace, and in lovingkindness. This concept that thinking, feeling, or expressing ourselves makes us "too much" is based on a false perception that sensitivity and Love are things to be hidden away and not seen, felt, or heard, but it is simply not true. That concept is based in fearful thinking that is harmful to our hearts, minds, and souls. If you grew up this way, or have been made to feel this way I want you to know that you are not alone, and if you allow it, it will and can get better. I would love to hear from my readers on their stories, and journeys with this topic or anything else that may be on your heart or may have been sparked by reading this. I thank you tremendously from the bottom of my heart for reading and I am sending lovingkindness to you and yours. One Love. Looking for help shifting your mindset and beginning your healing journey towards peace, self-worth, kindness, and love? Check out The Zen Panda Therapeutic Mentoring Services we offer. This may be the very beginning of your healing. Also come over and Dig our Zen Lovingkindness Shop and Art Collections by the Artist/Writer AKay

  • Once Upon A...

    At different points in my life, I have felt tattered, uncomfortable, broken, lost, forgotten, lonely, and unworthy. At one point I felt these all at once with an additional amount of trauma and grief added to this already overfull emotional rollercoaster. This abundance of heavily weighted chains that I dragged around with me through life. I didn't think I would survive this, the emotional self-torcher of everything that felt so heavy that I couldn't breathe, think, or make any type of movement towards getting better. What was better? I used to think. What was "Normal". I would say "normal is only a setting on the dryer, nothing more". That this quote, unquote "normal" that I felt people were expecting of me was just unattainable. Unimaginable to me. I got exceptionally wonderful at putting on a facade. Pretending to be this person I thought those around me wanted. There was the me at work who pretended I had a beautiful life with beautiful options, the me with friends that never had any worries or problems, the me with family who was quiet and un-asking... Pretending I was okay, if I say outload to other people, I am okay enough times then it'll believe it.... Well shit. That was just not true. What mattered the most was at the end of the day, really at night. When the busy-ness of everything had ended, when it was just me, when I laid down in bed to try and sleep, was I okay. And the answer for a long long long time was NO, I wasn't. I was on the verge of tears almost always, on the verge of rageful outbursts (usually in the car "road-rage"), on the verge of giving up any and everything I ever wanted to achieve in life, and at more than one point on the verge of ending my life. I know in this short post I can't go into all the details of what happened and why and what would bring me to such a dark place. But I got there many times because at the end of the day when it was just me with me I didn't like who I was, I didn't think I was even deserving of another breath of air, much less deserving of love, kindness, joy, peace, loyalty, respect, trust. There was this one particular day that changed things for me, I remember it vividly. It was as if I had received just a glimpse of clarity, a moment of truth, an urge to want to be, see, do, try better. And in that moment, I decided that I wanted to live not die. After a long road of challenges including phone calls, healthcare visits, counseling, lovingkindness, meditation, reading about dharma and life, defining who I am, defining my worth, I was able to look myself in the mirror and say I am worthy. I am worthy of life, love, lovingkindness, joy, peace, hope, trust, loyalty, truth, connection and much more. This mix of tragedy and lovingkindness spills out into my art. Art is a form of mediation for me, also a type of therapy. It has helped me since I was a child to create something that I think is intriguing or beautiful from nothing, just a thought, or idea that I alone had. I always thought that was one of the really wonderful things about Art. And being able to share that art with others is something I never thought I could do. But on this part of my journey, I am doing things so differently than I have ever done before. Once upon a time I had a moment of clarity that saved my life... If you have ever felt this way, I truly hope that maybe my words can help your heart and provide a sliver of hope that even in the darkest places where no light shines in, there is still hope! It is in the depths of our souls and we are all worthy of life no matter how bad things are, or how terrible we feel. And with that I hope that you enjoy the things I share here. I anticipate there being a big variety. This is my first post it is 5:30 a.m. and as I am watching the Moon Set and the Sun Rise I was just thinking of how grateful I am to be walking this journey of lovingkindness, and figured I'd start sharing. I hope these words find you well, at peace, and in Metta. Sending lovingkindness your way, Namaste and One Love. AKay🌸

  • When you are Feeling Unappreciated on Mother's Day, do these simple Lovingkindness tasks.

    When you don’t feel appreciated on Mother’s Day take a deep breath, I promise it’s going to be okay. When you feel underappreciated, under-celebrated, misplaced, disrespected, take a long pause and walk away, I promise it’s going to be okay. When you feel un-heard or just frustrated, take a moment to cool down and meditate, I promise it’s going to be okay. There were many years where this holiday made me feel resentful, aggrivated, angry, unappreciated, frustrated, unloved. Then there were years where all I wished for was a phone call. I promised myself a long time ago after many missed moments with my son, that even if the day is not going as I imagined I will decide to walk in love not in frustration or hate. It is easy to set up expectations for others, and what it should look like for them to celebrate us.... But stop, wait, we don't get to decide that.... Keep reading love, and I'll tell you why. #1 - Take a Look into the Mirror Take a look in the mirror and appreciate yourself, appreciate those babies, and appreciate all you do, have done, are currently doing, and hope to do. Recite a Gratitude List for all that you have and all you are grateful for! Recite an Affirmations List starting with I am an amazing Person, I am a Loving Mother, I am Kind, I am genuine…. and so on. Sometimes it just has to come from us to us, you dig? #2 - Today is the day to celebrate what it means to be a Mother! What's your Definition? Definition 1 of a Mother in 2023 is practically a Super-Human Super-Hero that goes above and beyond 1000%, 365 days’ out of the year, no complaints, no worries, and keeps herself in pristine Mom mode for when anything might come up…. Right?... Wrong….. Definition 2 of a Mother in 2023 is a conscious, loving, true to self, genuine, caring, fun, confidant, who gives all of her love and affection to her children/babies/family. So which definition are you trying to uphold? Not to have our loved ones meet some unrealistic, most times un-voiced, expectation of this “perfect day”, where they cherish us, and grovel at our feet, say how amazing we are and drop everything to do what we want, is a reflection of that unrealistic definition. It’s a recipe for disaster, dissatisfaction, and disappointment if we think we are “owed” something for Mother’s Day. However, if we can reframe our thinking to reflect the more genuine definition of a mother. Start at the baseline of just being grateful, appreciative, loving, kind, joyous, and thankful then that my dear MAMA is a recipe for a beautiful day. Your family may even be a little shocked that you’re not going around demanding Mother’s Day attention, or this or that’s from them, when instead you greet your children with a loving hug and a kind word. "I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail" – Maslow #3 - Lovingkindness Suggestions on How to Celebrate Oneself: When Feeling Unappreciated on Mother's Day. #4 Lovingkindness Suggestions on how to Celebrate yourself today for Mother’s Day 2023: Love...... Love, Love, Love, Today especially should be filled with feelings of Love. It’s all about loving ourselves first, loving our children, our children's children, then sending lovingkindness to all, and loving those who fill our hearts and lives with joy. With Love all things come alive, but with expectations love is weakened. At the end of the day if none of that worked and your family forgot about Mother’s Day and you spent it alone or there were other circumstances that happened that you couldn’t be with your children, or it was just not what you expected, breath, I promise its okay. You are beautiful, you are strong, you are genuine, you are loving, you are incredible, and you are a Mother. #5 - Go Back to that Mirror On Mother’s Day 2023 you can say that you allowed yourself a shift in mindset, to say that "Everything does not have to go your way for things to actually go your way." AKay HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the Mother's out there (whatever that looks like) who are raising this world of people with love, kindness, joy, laughter, and hugs. Treat yourself with something from my shop, you'll be helping this Mom with Lovingkindness. Sending lovingkindness to you and yours on this very special day, hope that this post has found you well and I hope that you enjoy your families on this beautiful day. One Love. If you dig this post about Feeling Unappreciated on Mother's Day, please sign up and comment below, I'd love to hear what you think!!! Also check out and dig on the other things we have going on over here at AKay One Love Design. May Peace Be With You!

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