When you don’t feel appreciated on Mother’s Day take a deep breath, I promise it’s going to be okay.
When you feel underappreciated, under-celebrated, misplaced, disrespected, take a long pause and walk away, I promise it’s going to be okay.
When you feel un-heard or just frustrated, take a moment to cool down and meditate, I promise it’s going to be okay.
There were many years where this holiday made me feel resentful, aggrivated, angry, unappreciated, frustrated, unloved. Then there were years where all I wished for was a phone call. I promised myself a long time ago after many missed moments with my son, that even if the day is not going as I imagined I will decide to walk in love not in frustration or hate. It is easy to set up expectations for others, and what it should look like for them to celebrate us.... But stop, wait, we don't get to decide that.... Keep reading love, and I'll tell you why.
#1 - Take a Look into the Mirror
Take a look in the mirror and appreciate yourself, appreciate those babies, and appreciate all you do, have done, are currently doing, and hope to do.
Recite a Gratitude List for all that you have and all you are grateful for!
Recite an Affirmations List starting with I am an amazing Person, I am a Loving Mother, I am Kind, I am genuine…. and so on. Sometimes it just has to come from us to us, you dig?
#2 - Today is the day to celebrate what it means to be a Mother! What's your Definition?
Definition 1 of a Mother in 2023 is practically a Super-Human Super-Hero that goes above and beyond 1000%, 365 days’ out of the year, no complaints, no worries, and keeps herself in pristine Mom mode for when anything might come up…. Right?... Wrong…..
Definition 2 of a Mother in 2023 is a conscious, loving, true to self, genuine, caring, fun, confidant, who gives all of her love and affection to her children/babies/family.
So which definition are you trying to uphold?
Not to have our loved ones meet some unrealistic, most times un-voiced, expectation of this “perfect day”, where they cherish us, and grovel at our feet, say how amazing we are and drop everything to do what we want, is a reflection of that unrealistic definition.
It’s a recipe for disaster, dissatisfaction, and disappointment if we think we are “owed” something for Mother’s Day.
However, if we can reframe our thinking to reflect the more genuine definition of a mother. Start at the baseline of just being grateful, appreciative, loving, kind, joyous, and thankful then that my dear MAMA is a recipe for a beautiful day. Your family may even be a little shocked that you’re not going around demanding Mother’s Day attention, or this or that’s from them, when instead you greet your children with a loving hug and a kind word.
"I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail" – Maslow
#3 - Lovingkindness Suggestions on How to Celebrate Oneself: When Feeling Unappreciated on Mother's Day.
#4 Lovingkindness Suggestions on how to Celebrate yourself today for Mother’s Day 2023:
1. If you have little ones on Mother’s Day it is easy to feel left out but its really up to you to celebrate and show them what it means to celebrate someone they dearly love.
a. You can take the babies out for a special treat; b. You can take the babies to a sitter and give mommy some alone/relaxation time; c. You can stay home and do your normal routine with some extra “I Love You’s” and hugs, sitting the little ones down and explaining what Mother’s Day actually means to you; d. You can make a fun art project with the littles and create a beautiful memory of today that in years to come you can remember and talk about; e. You can do a gardening project with the littles where not only are you teaching them the value of spending time with someone you love, if you enjoy gardening then Mommy gets to share something she loves with her little one, and that is a gift for everyone.
2. If you have adult children it’s easy to feel underappreciated and want to say “HEY, this is MY DAY Dang-it!”. But that just causes more heartache and possibly makes your adult children, that are trying to do something special for you, feel like they are not good enough for you.
3. If you have adult Children that have babies/little ones. Come on Nana-Mama, it’s time to give up the crown and celebrate your child/ren.
Love......
Love, Love, Love,
Today especially should be filled with feelings of Love. It’s all about loving ourselves first, loving our children, our children's children, then sending lovingkindness to all, and loving those who fill our hearts and lives with joy. With Love all things come alive, but with expectations love is weakened.
At the end of the day if none of that worked and your family forgot about Mother’s Day and you spent it alone or there were other circumstances that happened that you couldn’t be with your children, or it was just not what you expected, breath, I promise its okay. You are beautiful, you are strong, you are genuine, you are loving, you are incredible, and you are a Mother.
#5 - Go Back to that Mirror
Go back to that mirror and say thank you to yourself for you because you deserve it. Depending on what you enjoy you can celebrate yourself without spending a dime by:
1. Putting on your favorite record and signing your favorite song out loud smiling and laughing;
2. Make a cup of your favorite coffee/tea/hott beverage and sip it in your special place with some peace and quiet (even if only for 5 minutes);
3. Go for a walk and take pictures of the scenery so that when you get home you can make a collage of your day through nature;
4. Take a bubble bath with candles and all the smelly goods, burn some incense, put on some relaxing music, allow your body and mind to rest and melt the stress away;
5. Meditate to a guided meditation for thankfulness and sending lovingkindness out to your children and family, what better way to feel appreciated than to appreciate and send your love and kindness out to others;
6. Cuddle up with a soft blanket and your favorite book and get lost while you read and forget about any and all worries;
7. Cuddle up with the babies and watch a movie or do a quiet activity together, and take the time to really just be present in the moment here, now, with them;
8. Just Breathe! Do a calming breathing exercise that will center you and make you feel good about the day ahead.
On Mother’s Day 2023 you can say that you allowed yourself a shift in mindset, to say that "Everything does not have to go your way for things to actually go your way." AKay
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the Mother's out there (whatever that looks like) who are raising this world of people with love, kindness, joy, laughter, and hugs.
Treat yourself with something from my shop, you'll be helping this Mom with Lovingkindness.
Sending lovingkindness to you and yours on this very special day, hope that this post has found you well and I hope that you enjoy your families on this beautiful day. One Love.
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